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The Ring

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The Ring

by F.G.B. – 13 yrs. old
(Philippines)

dating and relationshipsIt has been a year, but still, memories are very fresh, as if it happened yesterday. It was September 2013.

I had my boyfriend, his name is Ash. We’ve been together since we’re children. Actually, we’re childhood sweethearts. He courted me when I was 11, and with no 2nd thought, I answered him “yes” for I had loved him since we’re children.

Many of our friends told us that we look good together, that we’re compatible. Our parents knew about our relationship and they approve of this, they even support us and give us some points on how to make our relationship last. Everything went so well.. almost perfect.. but something happened during my birthday, it was our anniversary.

September 8, 7:00 in the morning: he called me, greeting me, “happy anniversary.” My heart sank in joy. He had always remembered it, and then I replied “happy anniversary too.” After that, I’ve been waiting for him to greet me happy b-day but he didn’t. He bid me good-bye on phone and when he was about to hang-up the phone, I told him “wait!” He asked me what, and then I said “do you remember something? aside from our anniversary?” Then he responded “No. nothing” After that he hung-up the phone. I felt sad, for all of the years we’ve been together, this is the first time he’d forgotten about my b-day.

Is this because of Jane? I asked myself, because there are rumors spreading in our campus that Jane and Ash are dating. Some of my friends even showed me pictures, which I denied and told them they’re just friends..

When school ended, we went to the mall, ate together and watched movie as usual. We exchanged gifts as usual, he gave me a box with a heart shaped necklace that can be opened to put pictures inside. But I only received 1 and it is for our anniversary, even though today is my b-day.

When we’re walking on the road, with many buses and cars passing by, I asked him, “Don’t you remember something?”
“Uhm… nope.” he replied

It broke my heart. How come he’d forgotten about my b-day??

“I hate you!! it’s also my b-day you know! yet, you forgot it!! you’ve forgotten about your promise!” 3 months ago, he’d promise to give me a ring for my birthday.

“Maybe, it’s true that you and Jane are dating!” I continued, and then I threw the box with the necklace in the road. He went to pick it up with a face so sad, and then suddenly a car is coming after him, and them BOOM! He laid there with blood spilling everywhere. I shouted for help. I went beside him and wiped the blood in his face while tears run down my cheeks. Then, he smiled weakly, and giving the box with the necklace to me and said “Happy anniversary and happy b-day, keep this..” then he collapsed.

When we’re in the hospital, his parents soon arrived, sobbing and everything. I was waiting outside the E.R., waiting for the doctors result. The doctor came out and said he’s alive, but he’s 50-50.. he was moved to ICU.

I was inside his room, holding his hand and then I notice that I’m still holding the box with the necklace. I opened the pendant, instead of our picture, a note was written there. FLIP THE PAPER INSIDE THE BOX. Under that paper, was a gold ring, just a simple one, and there’s our picture with a note, it said:

My dearest Grace,

I hope you like this ring, this is what I promised to you, I’m sorry if I didn’t greet you happy b-day in the morning and pretended I forgot it. I just wanted to surprise you. I love you so much, you’re the sunshine of my life, you’re the moon of my night. I know we’re too young, but I want to tell you that I want to marry you when we grow up.

I’m sorry if you believe that I and Jane are dating, but we’re not. I am only begging for her help, for she knows what kind of ring you like. I’m sorry if it’s just simple, I don’t have enough money and I don’t have enough things to sell, but I hope you like it. Happy anniversary and happy birthday!! Remember that I’ll always love you.. for my heart is always with you.

love,
Ash

While reading this, tears are running down my cheeks and I can’t believe what I was reading. He’s just trying to be romantic with me and yet, I was so childish and I caused his accident. I wear the ring and the necklace. I kept the photo in my pocket, and I leaned forward to kiss him in his forehead. I whispered in his ear:

“I’m so sorry I am childish, I should have been mature. I love you, and my heart is also with you, and yes, I will marry you when we’re fully grown-up. Always remember you’re my first and last true love in my life.”

Those we’re my exact words to him, and after I said it to him, he gently opened his eyes, he looked at me, he smiled weakly and said:

“I’ll always love you, my sunshine”

Then slowly, his eyes closed, his hand slipped in mine and he died.

Yes, it has been 5 months, but still, I love him. I promised to myself I’ll never love other boy again, for my heart is with him. I still can’t move on. My morning is cloudy, for there’s no sun. My night is very dark, for there’s no moon. It’s too late now that I’d realized, material things are nothing, compare to the love you are receiving.

Until now, I keep the ring he had given me. Even though I’m just 13 years old, I don’t call my experience a puppy love, but true love, yes, true love. Now that Ash had left me in this dark and hideous world, I don’t know my purpose for living. I will live, but I promised my self never to fall for others, for Ash is the only one for me.

 

Our Love Advice to You

Time heals all wounds
by: Trina

Oh Grace,

This story made me feel so sad for you. I wish I could be there in person to hug you and tell you everything will get better.

Unfortunately, knowing that one day you’ll be able to move on and celebrate Ash’s life but living a great life yourself brings you no comfort right now.

It is important for you to remember him and remember your love. It’s also important to grieve and sit quietly with your loss.

The sun will come out again, I promise! But it will take awhile til you’ll be able to see it.

For now, just be strong and keep your promise to keep living and feel lucky that you were able to share many perfect moments that most people will live their whole lives and never witness.

 

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Always Make Them Smile

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Always Make Them Smile

dating and relationshipsby Daniela
(Virginia)

After a devastating break-up, I decided I was ready to start meeting new guys. I started chatting with this military guy online. We exchanged photos every day, texted all night, and got to know each other.

I mentioned to him that it’s odd that he doesn’t send me any pictures of him smiling. He just blows the question off and I don’t think twice about it.

Finally, we make a date to meet in the park, when he pulls up ALL I SEE ARE HIS TEETH! All of them are protruding in all directions from his mouth, none of them the same size, all of them taking on a personality of thier own. I start thinking to myself “Don’t be so conceited. It’s just teeth.” That was until he actually spoke. He claimed his “accent” was from Ohio. Personally, I think it was a mix between a slur and lisp.

After sharing this story with a friend who is also online dating. She is now sure to

  1. Get a picture of him smiling and
  2. Always speak on the phone before the meet.

I hope to spread this advice to more women out there looking for love online, I jumped in blindly

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He Doesn’t Show His Feelings

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He Doesn’t Show His Feelings

by Michelle
(North Bergen)

dating and relationshipsHow can I get my boyfriend of 4 years to care about me as much as I care about him? When I say ‘care’ I guess I mean in terms of attention. He doesn’t show his feelings. Why is it that he treats special occasions like they aren’t a big deal? Like birthdays… For his birthday, I do everything possible to make him feel special. But he doesn’t do the same for me. The most he says is ‘Happy birthday’ and ‘You look nice.’

His lack of attention really brings me down at a lot of points, but when I talk to him about it he says that I’m ‘paranoid’ and ‘make a big deal about little things.’ Perhaps I am, but I feel like he doesn’t care about the little things that matter to me.

I recognize that I do have my flaws of being clingy and emotional. I’ve apologized for those things directly, but even then he doesn’t reassure me that things are okay. He doesn’t show his feelings.

But besides that, I love him to death, please don’t think of him as some unemotional jerk. Well.. to be frank, yes to the unemotional but he not a jerk. He’s a sweetie pie. Kinda, Without being really um ‘sweet’?

And I know he loves me too. Questioning our feelings for each other doesn’t come to mind. But when these episodes happen, he leaves me feeling so insecure and sad. And he doesn’t show me the tad bit of attention..

I do serve his every whim. So how do I play hard to get? To make him take interest in me, more then now.

He’s the shy type. He’s very sweet, and caring, and an outstanding individual. But is very uncomfortable with PDA, which I don’t push. But I wish he could at least do SOMETHING when he sees that I’m upset. Or at least in private, more often kiss me.

Help me be coy. D:

 

Our Dating Advice to You

It all sounds pretty isolating
by: Sarah

So you’ve been together for 4 years? How do you make it work – by denying your own needs? I’ve been there and done just that.

If he doesn’t show his feelings, then what does he show? Does he not like B-days? If so, he needs to clarify his lack of interest to you. Does he realize that he is in a R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N ship? That means there should be a lot more ‘relating’ going on.

That starts with open communication about what is really going on. Why is he so shy? Perhaps he has low self-esteem, and is so self-absorbed that he doesn’t know how to consider your feelings and give you the attention you need.

Let him read your post and see what he has to say to that. Let that determine where his heart truly lies. If he really thinks you are paranoid he needs to put forth effort to quell your fears.

Stop serving his every whim and if he notices tell him HE’s paranoid and see how he responds. Why is he uncomfortable with PDA? Did you ever ask him? Perhaps he has some serious issues from his past that he has not dealt with yet.

Maybe he’s not into you. Are you really that into him? Consider the pros and cons. Give him an ultimatum. Forget the ‘shy’ act, it’s definitely NOT working for you. Tell him that talking and showing affection are necessary elements of a successful union. Basically tell him what you need from him and ask him if he is capable of giving it.

If he is not, well then, there you go!

 

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Five Month Online Love Affair

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Five Month Online Love Affair

by Cathy
(Canada)

dating and relationshipsBoy do i have a good one! I met a man on a 3d chat, we spoke briefly the first day and I was intrigued by him.

He told me he was 43 and that he lives in Florida (I verified this by DNS search of emails he send me, so this part is true). I was not “looking” for someone per say, I was on this site to kill a bit of time, and I have other friends both RL and online who go there as well… so I spent a bit of time with him, but not much, he was not online too often due to his busy schedule.

By about the 3rd week we’d been talking, he sent me an email saying that he was starting to really like me, but that he thought I was a “player” (due to all my friends) and that he didn’t want to get deeper because he was scared due to having his wife cheat on him before his divorce. I was really beginning to like this man and decided to tone down my flirting and reduced my time with my friends, and I told him so.

By the first month, I pretty much had decided I’d give this relationship a try, and started to tell friends about him, and made it exclusive. I was falling hard and fast for this man who told me stuff about himself that just made me love him more and more each day.

By the time two months rolled around, I told him I loved him and he a few days later reciprocated. He seemed ecstatic about it and we started to get really heavy into the “love talk” as in being mushy and what we called “smoochies.” We had talked daily and kept in touch via sms throughout our days.

He revealed to me (or so I thought), that he was a very rich man… and would randomly go on trips to different places ie. London, New York, Detroit, etc.. He always kept in touch with me, but it was a lower frequency of sms messages when he was “away.”

We talked often about meeting, how he was feeling that he would marry me and that when we finally broke the ice and met, that he would then take care of me. I was in heaven.

Shortly after about our 3 months of our online love affair, I finally decided it was time to meet him. Seeing as he was rich (so i thought), i figured he’d just fly himself out here and the rest would be history. I was soooo wrong!!! We spend about a month arguing about him coming here, he said he wasn’t ready, said he was scared he would run (yah. he sure did), but that he loved me deeply and wanted to do this the right way… I conceded and let him be for a bit.

In the 3 1/2 month mark, I went on medical leave from work because of a herniated disk in my neck, and things got really tight for me, I complained to him one night about how tough it was with a limited income and that I might have to take some drastic measures to reduce my monthly expenses, he said to me “I need to come I guess.” I took that as a he was going to come and rescue me, but didn’t say so.

We talked about this scenario for a while, over a weekend, and he told me he was going to come soon, and then finally it was going to be after the weekend.

On Sunday of the weekend before he was planning to come, he complained of having a serious headache. I was worried because he said he had been in a car accident one night, he also had supposedly had a blood clot removed from his brain a week or so after the accident. I told him to get to the hospital. He didn’t, but I didn’t hear from him at all on monday morning as planned.

At about 3 p.m. my time i get an email from HIS email addy, saying it’s his daughter… she took her dad to hospital, he was in a drug induced sleep while they try to dissolve a blood clot in the frontal lobe.

He was kept asleep for about 5 days, with his daughter giving me updates every day. After he was supposedly woken up, I was informed by his “daughter” that he couldn’t talk, and that he was having a hard time typing, but that she would “encourage” him to send me a message later in the day. I got a message from him. The typing was very basic, lots of mistakes and was 1 or two words at a shot. We managed to stay in contact through the week while he was recovering in hospital, and then he went home the following weekend.

Our conversations where getting better and I bugged him about letting me go there to help and just to be with him (i was completely madly in love with this man).

On the sunday of that weekend, he started to get worse in his typing again, he complained about a few headaches, mild ones. I was worried. He said he was going to fly to Detroit and be with his parents, his mom can help him and it would take a lot of stress off. The doctor said he was stressed and that’s why he was going backwards in his communication skills. I accepted that, although I was worried about him and was getting scared that something serious was going to happen.

On Monday morning he flew to Detroit…I spoke to him early in the a.m. before he got on the plane (private charter btw – RIGHT!). Then he messaged me when he had landed, and we spoke a bit, and he said he would get online that evening after he visited his own dad in the hospital. He didn’t show up that evening, but messaged me again in the morning to apologize, that he’d “fallen asleep”… OK, I understood (after all the man had a brain injury, right? RIGHT!).

So, the day progressed on the tuesday and I was talking to him at around 11:30 a.m. where he said he would be back at his mom’s in 2 hours and we could talk on yahoo. I was happy about this. We were talking a bit more, then he just went completely silent… there were no more text messages. Our 2 hour time meeting came and passed. I was not too worried yet as he had fallen asleep and missed a meeting before.

Then he didn’t message me in the a.m.. Then it turned into days. I was frantic, worried, calling hospitals etc… he was nowhere to be found. I started to try and find out information about his family, searching ancestry.com, google, email reverse lookups… everything and anything I could think of.

At about a week, I started to delve deeper. I had a good friend show me how to look up IP addresses and trace them to the source. I did this and found out that indeed he lived in Florida and all the things he had been telling me coincided with what he’d told me. I’d been doing extensive research for about 10 days when finally… I found an email from him that was supposedly sent when he was supposedly in London. He was NOT in London. The IP address traced back to his FL location. My friend also pointed out to me that he looked way older than 43, of which I agree (although his looks didn’t bother me, I was in love).

I’m now pretty positive that this man for whatever strange twisted reason, decided to prey on me in some complete mind game. I’m not sure what he was trying to do, but I am devastated. I still Love him too! I’m angry, and all the hopes and dreams of a wonderful future that I had while we talked for hours about marriage and where we’d live etc, are gone. I never gave him money, just love and only actually expected just love in return… All I got was a huge heartache and a lesson that will carry with my the rest of my life, to not trust men online.

 

Our Online Dating Advice to You

2 week rule
by: Sarah

I love online dating. There is no other way to meet guys all over the place and really get to crawl into their heads before you let your instincts kick in.

But I do have one rule: If we don’t meet in 2 weeks, it’s over. I let them know that when they are getting close to their expiration date. Guys will chatty chat online for months without making a move. Having an online love affair might seem exciting, but you never know who you’re really talking to or how many other women he’s talking to also.

I know in this case, you just chose a flat-out scumbag, but you should NEVER fall in love with anyone you haven’t held in your arms.

No one is who they say they are online. We’re all smarter, taller, better looking and more social until that very first meeting. Protect your heart until your instincts (your in-person instincts) tell you otherwise.

 

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I Can’t Believe I Cheated

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by Mad Mardigan
(Florida)

dating and relationshipsI can’t believe I cheated on him!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years and needless to say, things have become stale. I mean, I love him completely, but his idea of romance is taking his socks off when we have sex.

Last Friday, I was at a house party my friend was putting on. My boring boyfriend decided to hang out with his buddies playing Halo all night and being antisocial. I was pretty angry when I got to the party, but I decided to not let it bother me and have some fun.

When I got there, my friend Ashley started handing me shots of tequila. Things were looking up. And then I saw him… There wasn’t anything particularly gorgeous about “Fabio,” but he was cute and had dimples and for some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him!

That’s never happened to me before! The tequila was softening everything so I decided to go talk to him. Oh my God! He was smart and funny and he smelled incredible. We talked the whole night about some really deep things.

Still, I can’t believe I cheated, but when he asked me if I wanted to go up in my friend’s kid’s treehouse to make out, I said yes without hesitation.

You probably know the rest of the story: kissing lead to undressing, undressing lead to fooling around, and that lead to some of the best sex I’ve had in… well… five years.

I feel bad for my boyfriend and I can’t believe I cheated, but I think I really needed this. It’s really made me examine my relationship and whether I need to either make things work or let him go. Have you ever met someone that you were completely captivated by? Oh my God! I get tingly just thinking about it!

 

Our Advice to You

You might as well end it

Just by the fact that you’re getting all tingly about thinking about cheating on your boyfriend is a good enough reason to end things. Some people get to this point and they feel awful. Since you’re not really feeling the pain and guilt of cheating, it indicates that you are pretty much done with this relationship. Don’t waste another several years torturing yourself (and torturing him too). Set him free and go get your groove back!

Not feeling like you want to leave just yet? Check out the book, Should I Stay or Should I Go to get some real perspective on what is worth saving and what is not.

 

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Sleeping With My Ex

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Sleeping With My Ex

by Jordan
(California)

dating and relationshipsI was with my ex for one year when he broke up with me. We stayed single without contact for about 9 months, then started hanging out and eventually hooking up.

About a month before I started talking to my ex again, I started hanging out with a friend and we started to date VERY casually. We hardly even kiss and have only seen each other in that capacity maybe 12 times in the past 6 months.

CASUAL FRIEND left for boot camp (2 months). My ex told me during this time that he wants to get back together, but I want to take things to the next level with CASUAL FRIEND and have ended things with the ex. I haven’t told CASUAL FRIEND the extent of everything with my ex, he just knows we’ve been hanging out.

Do I tell CASUAL FRIEND about sleeping with my ex? I don’t see a real need to hurt him if we weren’t exclusive… he never pursued anything serious with me… but I still feel a little guilty especially after what my ex said about me being a terrible person..

This is just really out of character for me and its been bothering me for a long time… I didn’t want to be hooking up with my ex, but I didn’t know how to end it? So do I tell CASUAL FRIEND about sleeping with my ex?

 

Why Ruin A Good Thing?
by: Tina

Answer: Not necessarily. Sometimes the truth does not serve any purpose especially when we are dealing with the feelings of a CASUAL FRIEND (did I get that right?).

If you know that you will not be with your ex ever again, just move forward and let bygones be bygones. You just need to make your intentions clear to your ex, and apologize if you seemed to be leading him on. Just make sure that you have made up your mind and don’t make a mess of the situation.

Casual friends should know their place anyway so don’t get too worked up about it.

 

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What was I thinking?

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What was I thinking?

by Catholic Katie

dating and relationshipsMy story is a bit complicated, I have been or should I say “was” with my ex for 7 years… We were basically high school sweethearts. We met at a school party through mutual friends. We were both very young & immature.

I thought it would be a phase for him but he never grow out of it. Stupid me stuck by his side for years on in – I don’t know what my fascination was with him. The first 4 years were rough it was the same thing over and over again… he wasn’t ready to give up the party scene nor commit 100% but I was determined to stay with him b/c he had great potential and a positive outlook on life and I knew the man he was capable of being.

However, the main issue of our relationship was something that couldn’t be overlooked, religion. He is a Jehovah witness & I’m Catholic, even though I’m not practicing I still have my beliefs – b/c of these differences, I wasn’t allowed in his world completely.

It took 4 years for me to meet his parents and even then I was known as a “friend.” He couldn’t “date” me. We couldn’t post pictures of us on facebook etc. Over the years I came to the conclusion he was a hypocrite when it came to me and his religion, certain things would work when it was “convenient” for him.

He wouldn’t celebrate my birthday but he went away almost every year for his with the guys of course. I can go on and on about this subject. I know he loves me and wants to be with me, but he has a commitment issue, I’m not really sure what goes on in that head of his. I would do anything for him and he knows that, but I’m not perfect either we had alot of unnecessary drama in our relationship, b/c of his lack of commitment with me my family and friends grew to hate him and they made it really difficult for us to be together.

We have stalkers, people would write letters to the church, our parents trying to get us to breakup. At first it was overwhelming but we grew to ignore it. It got to the point where I had to chose him or my family and I couldn’t do that, I moved out on my own b/c I didn’t know what thoughts were mine anymore. A few weeks after, things seem to be settling down. I thought things were finally heading in the right direction for us, we were finally doing good. Don’t get me wrong he has alot of good traits too but at the looks of it the bad tops them. He talked about our future a lot more, he was helping me get to my goals. He answered the phone every time I called. He told me what he was doing and with who. The wall he built was finally starting to come down.

Love is blind. When we were together things were great. Gosh writing my story really makes me seem like an idiot, why did I tolerate all this stuff throughout the years? What was I thinking?

The reason for our break up is what sickens me, I stopped by his place early one morning unexpectedly. I was worried about him – he never called back the night before. To my surprise, I found a girl in his bed. And he had the nerve to say “why are you here? I told you we would be done for good if you just stop over like that…” Then he told me she was an old friend blah blah blah…

I spoke with the girl and she said she ran into the night before at a local bar, agreeing they knew each other from back in the day – she said he was really drunk and flirty and you would never have known he had a girlfriend. She said they kissed but nothing else happened. According to her story she drove him home b/c he was in no condition to drive and stayed over b/c of the time offered to sleep on the couch but he recommended the bed. The whole thing makes me sick. It’s almost like he lived a secret life and our relationship was on big fat lie, I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I gave up 7 years of my life, almost lost my family and friends for some guy that can’t grow up. The sad part is I still love him but I have to get out of his trap, I need to learn to let go. What was I thinking?

 

Our Breakup Advice for You

Love Should Never Be Blind
by: Roberto

You see this same thing hapen over and over again: NO ONE EVER PAYS ATTENTION TO THE WARNING SIGNS!

I’m sorry for your situation, but there is one thing you should always ALWAYS pay attention to: your friends and family! Sure, it’s one thing if one of your friends hates your boyfriend. It’s a simpilar thing if you mom decides to hate who your with. It’s a whole different thing when they ALL hate him.

One or two people could be wrong, but when more than just a couple people delete you from their lives because of who your with, now it’s time to listen!

Seriously, these people are people you have brought into your life because you love them (or they have to love you because you’re family). You trust their opinions and know they have your back. When those backs turn on you, it’s not because they’re jealous or “can’t see how great he is.” They actually can see with an objective eye that your guy is a scumbag.

Listen to your friends. Enough said.

Part 2 of this problem is that you “could see his potential.” This is the biggest mistake women make for their men. Always assume that he will never do much more than what he’s doing now (especially if he’s in a band!!!). Odds are overwhelmingly stacked in the favor of this holding true.

It hurts now, but in time, you will start to see all the horrible things he’s done to you and you’ll start to hate that he’s wasted so much of your life.

Don’t make the next guy your next mistake. Keep your eyes open and never accept second class treatment!

 

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Love Can Kill You

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Love Can Kill You

by Alisha
(London)

dating and relationshipsWell, where do I begin? Let’s start by asking how many of you guys believe in love? I do not disagree with you either, only if you find the RIGHT PERSON or else you will mess your life up.

I fell in love in 2010. It was my true love (I will call it). I accepted him in every situation and even though we were only with each other for a very short time, he asked me to marry him.

As all people would do when their lover asks them to marry them, I said yes to him. Neither his family nor mine knew about it. Then he went on holiday with his family. He stayed there for 5 months, but we spoke to each other over the internet.

We were in love totally… actually, only I was. For him, everything was just a game. After he came back, he showed so much love to me. I was just happy being with him and thought I had the most amazing love in this entire life. He told me he fell in true love with me. Who would not believe in that after being in a relationship for almost 2 years?

One day, I found out he was with a girl from a chat room. He said that he only wanted her to stay in the chat room so his online chat room stays active.

We broke up for 6 months then we started to talk again. He told me he was sorry and that he still loves me even though he was with someone else at the time. When he asked if we could be together again, I thought I would take one more chance

But no, he was cheating with me with the other girl still. He carried on cheating with both of us for like 6 months we didn’t even realize until I found out. This time I asked him to leave her and he agreed. He played a double game with both of us. We broke up again.

The funny thing is that he tells me that he loves me and want us to be together forever no matter what happens. I have loved him that much that right now i cannot live without him.

Its been almost 5 years now, and he’s telling me he regrets being with me, he does not love me and everything that happened, it happened because of me. He still has relationship with others beside me being his wife, yet today I’m nothing for him. and he told me to DIE.

After being with someone for 5 years and they tell u all this, would you feel like staying alive?? I don’t want to be in this world and I don’t have much time left now. I know he does not believe me that I will die very soon, but one thing I would like him to know is that I still love him even after him breaking me into pieces… I wish he sees me on the last day of my death, I just wanna prove to him that I have loved him honestly!!!

 

Our Breakup Advice for You

You’re not proving a thing
by: Sarah

So you’re gonna kill yourself because you fell in love with a complete asshole? How does that prove how much you love him?

It might make him feel bad about what he did to you… for a second, but who benefits from that? THE GIRL HE’S BEEN CHEATING WITH!!!

He might feel so bad that he’s been such a jerk to you that he decides to make a real go at his relationship with the other girl.

You picked the wrong guy to commit your love to! That’s really all this is. And although this seems devastating, we have all done it sister! Holy cow, I can’t count how many times I have pledged my undying love to a complete loser.

That doesn’t mean you need to kill yourself. Really…

You might want to talk to any kind of counselor before you do anything drastic. Mine has helped me through some tough patches.

Don’t kill yourself, Honey. You’re really just proving him right.

~Sarah

 

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Why Stay if You are Not Happy

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Why Stay if You are Not Happy

by Sarah, 25
(North Carolina)

dating and relationshipsI don’t refer to my ex as my ex because I refer to him as a friend. Me and my friend have been talking ever since 2012 summer.

Well he has always asked me out and I really didn’t want to go out with him. And then his dad died… He used it as ammunition to get me to go out with him. He asked me out. Of course I said yes because I didn’t want him to hurt even more.

As the days went by, it was getting more clear that I wasn’t really happy being with him. I was too scared and never told him that.

I finally couldn’t take all the weight on my shoulders so I told him how I felt. The point is I wasn’t happy being with him, so why stay with him?

Continue reading →

Should I Fight for My Relationship?

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fight for my relationship

Should I Fight for My Relationship?

by Zac, 20
(Texas)

fight for my relationshipI was with this girl for 3 years, will be 4 years on June 23rd. We didn’t have the best relationship at first for many reasons.

When I met her we were in 7th grade and we saw each other at camp and we became friends. Over the years, we talked every now and then and still had that attraction to each other even though we only talked like once every year probably. Continue reading →

Looking Through His Stuff

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Looking Through His Stuff

dating and relationshipsby Rachel
(Kennesaw, GA)

I am 64 y/o and I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 years.

Soon after I came to live with him, I was going to clean out his sock drawer and found naked photos of old girlfriends in this drawer. (He cleaned out this drawer the other day and was sure I didn’t find these photos.)

It hurts me, but I am known to over-react sometimes and I doubt. I just want to know if it is appropriate for him to have these photos? He doesn’t know that I have found them, but it makes me sick. He has had a very, very active past. I have not been a wall flower, but it has been many, many years for me.

I was married for 20 years. Some part of me says they are none of my business, but it still doesn’t feel good. And I don’t really want to get in the habit of looking through his stuff.

 

Our Relationship Advice to You

Relax a little more
by: Roberto

If you want a relationship to work… to really work, you have to do a whole lot of letting go.

Sure, it’s probably not the best thing to have pictures of exes laying around, but we kind of all do and you can’t blame someone for their past.

Now if they were recent pictures, that’s a whole other story…

 

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I Look Through His Phone

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I Look Through His Phone

by Sarah
(Gilbert, az)

dating and relationshipsI have been with my boyfriend for almost three years. About a year ago, I had a strange feeling he was doing something wrong so I checked his phone. I was right, he had been texting some girl from his work for several months and it even went as far as naked pics! I am not sure if he ever had sex with her, I will never know.

He denies it to this day! When I confronted him about it he felt terrible and was very ashamed of himself. We split for a week but he begged me back. It has been a year now and to this day I look through his phone still :o(

I hate feeling this way, it consumes me! I love him and want to believe that he is faithful to our relationship but what he did a year ago has destroyed my trust! How do I move past this?

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He’s giving his love, time and devotion to someone else

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He’s giving his love, time and devotion to someone else.

dating and relationshipsby robin lee
(los angeles)

How painful to know the person you love is giving all their love, time and devotion to someone else.

There are few things worse in life than when someone you love is with someone else. Your life stops. You are devastated, and in many ways there is a feeling of hopelessness. Most of all, you are feeling life will never be the same.

I am so broken-hearted lonely and despondent because of a relationship. Love is such a vibrant part of our daily lives. It not only represents who we are as people, but it also connects us to the land in which will cultivate it.

There’s this guy I was once in love with and still am. The hurt won’t go away. We used to be a happy couple but he was giving all he’s love, time and devotion to someone else I was feeling broken-hearted lonely and despondent. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same.

 

Our Love Advice to You

Getting over a breakup
by: Rendiva

Getting over a breakup can be hard and it takes a lot out of you. It feels like you just lost a big chunk of your soul.

It does get easier, but it takes some time. I suggest the book, Survival After Separation by Penny Price. The best part of this book is that it tells you all of the mistakes EVERYONE makes after a breakup and helps you to avoid them.

 

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Cheated On: Do I tell his New Girlfriend?

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Cheated On: Do I tell his New Girlfriend?

by Aria
(LA, CA)

dating and relationshipsI was in what I thought was the perfect relationship for 2 years. But I had this nagging feeling something wasn’t right.

It all started when my ex would go online and then delete his history. If you have nothing to hide why delete?

Since we met on an online dating site I decided to try there…maybe he was bored and looking for a way out? Nope no profile on his part. The reason I can say this for sure is that he is extremely tall and there is maybe 50 other people in our area that match his description.

So I let it go and thought it was just an insecurity on my part. Then he had given me his password to his email to print off his resume. Nothing suspicious there..until I checked his sent box. He somehow had forgot to delete the messages there.

To my utter shock and devastation. He was cheating, but with a man. That is why I couldn’t find his profile on the dating site. I was looking in the wrong section. Well as the story goes I went to him with proof of his infidelity… and he claimed to be bored and needed space. We stayed friends so I could investigate further.

I had thought it was me that caused all of it with my snooping etc. As time went on I learned that he was bi-sexual all along. And he finds unsuspecting woman to date to cover his closet bisexuality. If we never lived together I would never have found out.

So now he is another relationship where he looks like the greatest boyfriend. Yet he still goes online looking for intimate encounters with men. I know this only because I know where to look.

Do I tell his new girlfriend? I do not want him back..nor do I want to be his friend. I am going to have an HIV test soon..because you never know.

His new girlfriend has a son from a previous relationship..and is very unsuspecting. Do I leave well alone or does she need to know?

I don’t want to look like the crazy ex girlfriend. And he would know for sure it was me that contacted her because no one else knows about his bisexuality…

But he is cheating and lying???? I am torn???

 

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