We have trust issues in relationships. Should my boyfriend and I break up?
That’s a tough question. Trust issues in relationships, although it seems innocent right now, will eventually destroy your relationship. When one person finally understands there is nothing they can do to be trusted, they end up leaving.
It’s hard to imagine loving someone so much that you have dedicated your life to them only to find out that there is just about nothing you can do to make them trust you.
Let’s look at where trust issues in relationships stem from. There are tons of reasons someone might not be able to trust their partner. For the moment lets assume it’s your boyfriend or husband with trust issues.
It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. For some, if her boyfriend doesn’t trust her, then it’s a deal breaker. Others might decide he’s worth it enough to try to work through it. Or if you have these strange suspicions about your husband or boyfriend, it’s important to figure out if this is your trust issue or he really is a sleaze. For a more comprehensive look into this, not to mention some great perspective on the issue, the book Should You Stay or Should You Go? poses all the questions you need to focus on before you decide to do something extreme. Isn’t it worth knowing that you really are making the right decision?
Perhaps one or all of his previous girlfriends cheated on him. For some pessimistic guys, all it takes is one betrayal of trust to believe that all women are the same way. He’ll find himself second guessing everything his future girlfriends do or say. He’ll find it hard to completely open up again because he’s worried that he’ll only get his heart broken again.
In the end, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. His next girlfriend will get fed up with his issues with trust and his emotional distance and go find someone who can give her trust and love. In the end, he feels like his mistrust was well placed and blames her for the breakup. He never stops to realize that by never trusting her in the first place, she felt compelled to betray him to get back at him.
Of course, she is not blameless, but she might not have really acted on it has she not had the idea pounded into her head.
Or maybe he is acting a little shady and it’s making you not trust him. Now what do you do? You could go nuts and accuse him of all kinds of horrible things, or you could know for sure. The truth is, nearly everyone who cheats leaves the exact same clues without fail, The Affair Detective will show you what signs to look out for and how to truly know if your greatest fears about him or founded or not. If trust issues in relationships are bothering you, this is a great first step to take in putting them to rest.
Let down by friends and family
Lets face it, some people have lead some pretty horrific lives. Some people have had childhoods that you could not imagine. If you really want to find the source of trust issues in relationships, sometimes it goes all the way back into early childhood.
Maybe he had a mother or father that could never be counted on. This type of disappointment is likely to follow him for the rest of his life.
The issue with this type of problem with trust is that there is very little you can do to make him know that you are trustworthy. That type of pain requires some counselling. If he’s never given a chance to talk extensively about how the issues of trust with his family, he’ll never lose that little voice in his head telling him you cant be trusted.
What if you have the trust issues in relationships?
Now is the time to admit that everyone on this earth is not out to attack your trust in relationships. While were at it, not all men are pigs and not all men are after one thing. Generalizing like this will only mean that youll never be happy in a relationship.
Every new guy gets a clean slate. Thats the only way you can give your relationship a fighting chance. He is not like any of the other men that have let you down. It’s definitely difficult to not let those suspicious thoughts into your head, but you must not let them take hold of you.
You have to realize that these feelings of mistrust don’t come from the fact that he’s untrustworthy. They come directly from your own head. Do these feelings of mistrust in the relationship mean that he’s cheating or does not love you as much as he says? That depends
Is this mistrust real or imagined?
You should never ignore your own women’s intuition. There are some things he might do differently to set off your trouble radar. Little changes in the way you talk to each other or kiss. Whatever it is, you can feel something has shifted.
Now you need to check the warning signs on how to spot a cheater. If he clearly does not fit the profile, then you must decide to trust him. It’s so easy to watch all the ridiculously complex movies about infidelity and betrayal and decide your boyfriend is a cheater, but give the guy a break. If he’s not doing anything wrong, you are only pushing him away by always accusing him.
Ask yourself, Have I trusted other boyfriends or have I always had to deal with jealousy or mistrust? If you notice you had problems with trusting your boyfriends in the past, then the problem may be you. You might be dating awesome guys, but then you push them away by being suspicious of them all the time. It’s time to make some changes. A great place to start is with Panic Away! Release all your anxiety and fears in all aspects of your life with this brilliant method! This course really gets into the source of all these unwanted feelings. If you’ve always sabotaged your relationships with friends, boyfriends or family, then you need this course. Find out how you can tap your natural ability to let go of any unwanted feeling on the spot.
Whether it is you or your boyfriend with trust issues in relationships, these problems are not going to go away. They will only get worse. It is important that you sit him down and tell him that you have a problem with trusting the people you love and need his help to get through it. Or if he has the trust issue, you need to tell him, “I simply cannot be with someone who does not trust me.” This one little step will go far in helping him change his mind and you can both decide that your relationship is much too strong to let problems with trust damage it.
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