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Seduced Him All Over

by Kitten

Well guys, I really wanna share my story here.

One day just after the new session at school started, a hottie (blue eyes, nice body) entered our class. We were introduced by my teacher. We just shared a handshake, a smile, and a naughty look in our eyes. Continue reading

I do not confess and I don’t feel bad. What is wrong?

I do not confess and I don’t feel bad. What is wrong?

by Riviera
(London, UK)

dating and relationshipsI have had a few pretty long-term relationships and had cheated on them all. Not compulsively but when things have come naturally, I have gone with it.

This is the way I live my life in all aspects. I go with the flow…

I do not confess and I don’t feel bad. Still I do not understand why I do it.

Here is a list of possible personal reasons:

  • Another way to rebel against everything, including a loving and healthy relationship.
  • For the thrill.
  • To feel I am still free to indulge myself whatever way I want.
  • Cause it has no (direct, immediate) consequences.
  • I don’t look for it so it is a (false) way to not take blame for it.
  • I don’t get emotionally involved.

To me all of them are true.

So what happened to me that I see nothing wrong in doing it as long as the other person does not know? I consider myself an emotionally faithful woman.


Our Cheating Advice to You

Accept who you are
by: Roberto

So it sounds like you are stable and healthy. This is just something you do.

So then why don’t we just agree that this is what you do? How do you pull that one off? Honesty…

So it might not work on the guy you are currently dating to just say, “Hey, I’m at the point in my life where I’m dating. If you’re jealous or possessive or crazy, then go away.”

But for anyone new in your life… People will agree to any number of stipulations as long as you set them up from the very beginning. This is great because it also filters out the stalkers and nutjobs before you let them so deep into your life.

I think you’re doing fine and as long as you are up front with your boyfriends from the very beginning, there won’t be any residual guilt whenever you decide to have a little fun.

There’s a great article about open relationships that will give you some guidelines on how to keep everyone happy (especially you).


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Where do We Stand?

Where do We Stand?

by Ellie

dating and relationshipsEarlier last year I was at a gig in London and some friends of mine said that this guy noticed me. At the end of the gig I was able to briefly meet him, where he introduced himself to me properly and we chatted for a little bit before I had to catch my train home. Before I left he gave me a hug, but that was all, we didn’t exchange any information and I didn’t expect any further contact. He is from the US and it was his last night in London.

The next day I was really surprised when he’d found me on facebook and wrote me a message to ask if I would be around at the next gig in a few days which was a really long distance away, but I couldn’t go. We spoke a couple more times before he added me to his private friends and family only facebook profile.

Every now and then he would message me to ask how I was. Over the next couple of months he messaged me again to ask if I would be around in the US at any time, and again I couldn’t. Then when he had plans to come back to London for a couple days, he asked me again if I would be in town and asked if we could hang out at a gig and also spend some time away together. Since it was also going to be thanksgiving, he asked me if I would want to do something with him. As the time came closer for him to come he started flirting with me, and I completely flirted right back.

When he got to London 7 months after we first briefly met, we both hung out after the gig at some bars and just chatting over drinks with friends and there were lots of big very long hugs. Since it was late by the time the gig ended, I ended up staying with him in his hotel room. When I chose to first sleep in the other bed in the room he acted playfully offended that I wanted to sleep so far away from him, so I slept in the same bed as him.

We cuddled for a bit and watched TV before we went to sleep. When we woke up a few hours later he made a move on me, but I’m really inexperienced so I felt a little awkward and insecure at first. So he backed off and we talked about it for a bit. After, we started cuddling and kissing again and everything just gradually escalated and we ended up sleeping together.

So we spent that day together, but then he had to leave London again to go back to the US, and before he left he said he wanted to spend more time together getting to know each other next time we were in the same city. While we were together he asked me if I was okay with it because he didn’t want me to end up hating him since we live so far away from each other.

I am getting ready to move myself, and in a few weeks will be moving to Vancouver. When I told him that, the first thing he said was that that would be a lot closer to him. I also forgot to mention that I am 23, soon to be 24, and he is 35.

When he was back in the US for work he texted me just to check in and we still text each other and communicate over facebook. Lately it’s me that starts all the texting, because I admit I do miss him a lot even though we barely know each other, but he always texts me back straight away. I keep thinking about him, but I admit the reason I probably miss him so much is because we didn’t spend much time together and it’s just the idea of me and him that I miss so much. He is insanely busy lately, as he is traveling on most days to a new city for his work.

So what I’m really confused about is our relationship. Even though we’ve slept together and have agreed to get to know each other better next time we’re together again, should I just leave our relationship to how it was before and let him be the one to get in touch every now and then as well as me, instead of me texting a couple times a week? I’m just worried that if I lay off too much he’ll think I’m not into him or will get involved with someone else as he travels around a lot for his job and meets a lot of women. But I also don’t want to come across as clingy. Also is he really interested in a relationship with me? Would he really have kept contact with me for more than 7 months for just a fling? I don’t regret anything that happened, I just want to understand where we really stand. What do you think?


Our Relationship Advice to You

Long Distance Relationships…
by: Roberto

It’s going to be difficult and maddening to be so far away from a guy you’ve had such a great connection with.

The best thing to do is to remember to keep things fun and playful (even when you are feeling uptight about it). As long as you are always showing him how great you are, he will not forget.

Don’t let the line go slack! Texting is sometimes the cowardly way out. It’s just too easy. Only use it as a “teaser.” For example: “OMG! You won’t believe what just happened to me!” Now he has to respond to get your story. You should always try to push this into a phone conversation because you can’t really know a person by text.

In the meantime, there is a great book about Loving Your Long Distance Relationship that might help. I know this might not be considered “a relationship,” but it will give you a bunch of clues on how to move things forward from far away.


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I Hate Him

I Hate Him

i hate himby AngryAlice

I can’t believe this just happened. I was going through the laundry and I found condoms. The last time we used condoms together was six years ago! I went to your page on how to tell if my man is cheating and it’s right there! Condoms!

You also say to check his underwear for stains and bingo! We always have sex right before bed so there is no reason there should be any stains in his underwear.

Oh my God. I’m freaking out. That bastard said he loved me. He said it this morning on his way to work. I know things have become boring for the both of us, but I can’t believe he wouldn’t just talk to me first and instead go find some whore to sleep with.

I’m so happy I found your site although I think I’d rather not know. But dammit! THIS IS MY LIFE! I’m so angry and depressed. I don’t know what to do. Do I keep him? I don’t think I could even sleep next to him after this. OMG…


Our Relationship Advice to You

It’s time to make some decisions
by: Roberto

Things are crazy right now because this pain is all brand new. This is where things always go wrong. You might rush directly to the confrontation without truly figuring out what you want out of this relationship.

Do you want out or do you think things can be saved? If so, will he do this again? Will you be able to forgive him?

Now is the time to ask some serious questions to yourself and figure out where you stand in all of this. What went wrong in the relationship? You mentioned things getting a little boring. Maybe they got A LOT boring and he ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was just a one-time act of recklessness. Maybe it’s been going on for awhile.

Either way, you need to consider how you would feel about every kind of scenario before you decide how things should play out.

Is it possible to go stay at a friend’s house for a couple nights or your parents? Take yourself out of the situation and take a little time to discover your feelings. You don’t have to tell him anything but that you’ll be back in a couple days. In fact, it’s probably better if you leave it ambiguous and let him sweat it out for a little while. Allow him some time to think about what he’s done.

What you really need right now is to start asking yourself what all this means to you. Six years is a pretty big commitment. Are you willing to work on it or walk away? You really need to look deep inside yourself and see where you stand in all of this. Get the book: Should You Stay or Should You Go right away to help you start asking the right questions to find out what you should do. Do this BEFORE you start screaming at him. This book is awesome because it helps you “rate” how good your relationship is before you decide to stay in a bad relationship AND it’s an ebook, so you can download it right now and find some direction immediately.

Make no mistake, there are some tough times ahead, but wouldn’t you rather look back at this moment and be happy that you made all the right moves from the very beginning? It’s so much better than being completely helpless…

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Loving a Man With Trust Issues

by Rose McFarland
(San Jose, CA)

My ex (from just a few hours ago) and I have been together for about a year. But the first 4 to 5 months we were just friends because that’s how he wanted it. We both had been hurt several times and his last girlfriend lied a lot. Now he has trust issues.
Continue reading

I told myself to go for it!

by Terri
(Cleveland Ohio)

When I first saw my current husband, it was at a party at my friend’s house. He was all the things I wanted in a man: tall, blond, and handsome. I asked around and no one seemed to know anything about him.
Continue reading

I Can’t Stop Cheating

by Dumpster
(New York, NY)

I feel like a whore!

I can’t stop cheating. I’ve cheated on every single one of my last seven boyfriends. I don’t know why I do it, I just get these opportunities and I go with them.
Continue reading

For New Lovers!

dating and relationshipsHave you recently entered into a new romantic relationship? Researchers at University of Toronto are conducting an online study looking at the development of relationships over time. To be eligible, you must be at least 18 years of age, and you must not have been in your relationship for longer than six months at the time of participating.

As a thank you for your help, you will be entered into a draw for a $50 gift card from There will be two more sessions of the study over the next eight months, and there will be a new gift card draw for each session of our study that you complete.

If you would like to participate, please go to this link.

Thanks so much for supporting our research for new lovers!


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Is He Into Me?

Is He Into Me?

by KatKatSparks

dating and relationshipsMy long time friend who is male recently divorced and moved in with roommates. He sort of always had this school boy crush on me.
My friend had an after party and I went… met his roommate. Instant attraction.

We kissed.

First time in my life that I kiss a total stranger. Never done it and I’m soooo not the type of girl who does these sort of things. We kissed or made out like high schoolers for about 20 minutes. Loved every minute of it. He told me all about his family. Places he’s lived. Interests, life, and every single detail… he also volunteered to cook for me.

He asked me to stay (of course) but being the good girl that I am I left. Never gave him my number… and I sort of told him I was dating someone casually which I was.

Fast forward to 2 weeks… I invite him out to the movies. Things with the person I was “casually” seeing didn’t work out, mainly because of the stranger kisser…

He told me he was going out of town. I was left hanging. Bummer.
Fast forward a week… he invites me out to a very mellow/quiet bar. I show up don’t see him and take off. Again, we didn’t exchange numbers so… we wrote each other emails regarding our missed encounter.
Fast forward two weeks… I meet up with his roommate (my long time friend) we hang out and I of course see him. I act casual. nonchalant… whatev…

Fast forward to yesterday: I get an invite to a chili cook-out at his house.

  1. Does he like me?
  2. Is he into me?
  3. Is it too complicated?
  4. Is it worth all this trouble?
  5. Shouldn’t he more assertive?


Our Dating Advice to You

Guys Can’t Hide Their Interest
by: Sarah

From everything I know, men aren’t very subtle creatures. They don’t hide their interest. They don’t spend hours interpreting the nuances of social interactions. And when they see something the really want, they will crawl over their own mother to get at it.

This guy’s half-assed attempt at wooing you is a great window into how the rest of your relationship will go. He’s going to be this aloof ALWAYS. If that’s cool with you, go for it. If, however, you want a guy who’s passionate about you, then keep searching. He’s out there.


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Is it too late?

Is it too late?

dating and relationshipsby Rebecca55

I dated someone for a few months and he started criticizing me so I went out and kissed somebody else. I told him just to piss him off because I felt mistreated. It was ridiculously immature by me as I should have just talked to him and told him I didn’t like it.

But instead I opened up a game…

The problem is he didn’t believe that I just kissed someone and he said he loved me and that this was another chapter in my life. I was actually devastated and haven’t stopped thinking about him for 3 years.

I’ve tried to let go but things remind me of him and he hates me now. I don’t know if I deserve this sort of pain or if I should tell him how I feel even though we haven’t spoken in a really long time and he might have another girlfriend now? Is it too late?


Our Dating Advice to You

It’s never too late!
by: Roberto

There is nothing more flattering to guy than a girl showing up from his past and telling him how much you still think about him!

That said, I think you should get back in touch. There is one of three things that can happen:

1. He might still hate you and tells you this. This is great because you can check him off the list and know for sure that you don’t need to think about him any more.

2. He has a girlfriend. There’s not much you can do here, but by contacting him, you might just plant a seed. He might eventually dump her to try things again with you.

3. He’s available and interested. DON’T just pick up where you left off! Treat this as a whole new relationship. Talk about the past, but never again after you work through what happened. People can change a lot in three years. Give him all the chances you’d give a brand new guy.

This time, make sure you are COMPLETELY open and honest about your feelings. Don’t hold things in to the point you have to have another melt down…

Here is a great article on things to consider when getting back with your ex.


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Life Goes On

Life Goes On

by Anonymous

dating and relationshipsThe summer of 2008, I was only 14 years old. I had just started “dating” boys, which weren’t real relationships anyways. The kind where you see each other at school and hold hands in the hall, maybe stay after school and sneak around the halls flirting, and talk on the phone all night, but that’s about it.

You barely if ever see each other. I dated two kids for 6 months or so when I was this age that I hung out with out of school once or twice, no more. But at the age it doesn’t phase you really.

So it’s the end of the summer and I like this boy in the neighborhood of my best friend. We start hanging out and it’s obvious we like eachother and start dating the beginning of November that year. Everything’s great! We give each other the butterflies, the whole nine yards. This same year he became a freshman, I was a sophomore, we were only a few months apart but I was one of the youngest in my grade. Influenced by the older kids he hung out with, he got into some things. We started getting serious and both lost our virginity to one another 6 months into it. We were at the age of curiousness, and funny we both fooled around with one of each other’s friends behind each other’s backs right in the same time period, thats funny. So we call each other out, break up fight. We get back together and everything’s fine.

Now I had a bad situation at home and never wanted to be there and so going over his house. A few months later, his parents get divorced and its all down hill from here. He starts being upset all the time. We were good backbones for eachother and helped one another out. He starts smoking pot, partying a little more than usual, skipping school, which I absolutely was doing the same thing, but only about 1/4 of how often he was into it. He went from straight A’s to a progress report with 2 D’s an F and some B’s. We were still getting along fine at this point so like everyone else says, “Its just the age” “Or its a phase, they’ll grow out of it”.

Well fast forward a year or two, we developed serious trust issues. We fought about jealousy, who I was friends with for guys, who he was always smoking with, not to mention he was the weed dealer of the town as well. I move out and move to my other parents house after I graduated highschool and we became a long distance relationship. Both not old enough to drive, nor do we have a car obviously. We barely saw each other for the next 6 months. I finally got a car and right away was driving to see him EVERY weekend, rain, snow or shine.

I enrolled in a local community college for two years, I still picked up the slack or driving to him every weekend. With the argument of that all of my and his friends were down there so in a way he was totally right, I would much rather drive down there. But with all that aside, I can still to this day count the number of times he came up to see me… maybe 10-12? We dealt with breaking up a few times here and there, spending nights of screaming matches on the phone, getting back together, doing it all over again. Finally it came time to transfer, and I wasnt going to hold back on my life to keep this relationship in tact and decided I was going to the school I wanted and that was it. He was okay with it said we would work it out, we had done this long distance thing for a while now. Now its a year later, we broke up 2-3 times during last year for a month to 3 months at a time and for some of the summer, date other people, and somehow once again think we can fix things, we were meant to be, we’ve been on/off for going on 7 years now.. I mean what 21 year olds can say they dated someone for the last 7 years? Thats absolutely crazy.

On the positive side obviously we have some sort of real connection. BUT, theres always a “but” to most of the good things we shared. In between all these years is a lot more garbage that briefly lets just say, according to this website, we are 110% “toxic”. We’ve drunkenly phyiscally fought at least 5 times a few years back, both called each other the worst things you could imagine, and cheated on each other a few more times in the means of those years. But keep going back to what we know and are most comfortable with saying we’ll both change. And shockingly, for the most part have.

So the moral of my story is now.. I’m a senior in college, Im a very determined and motivated person to be successful, and I literally came from parents who raised me yes, but as far as any kind of stability and personal growth, I was on my own. I’m still trying to fix and cope with what we have left. Granted, all these issues have gotten a lot better, but they are still engraved in our milestones. Now its my last year to do good in school yet I have a boyfriend who owes me money, is far away, “works too much for right now at least to come drive here”, hasnt completed more than 1 year of community college, yet is the most intelligent person Ive met. He just can’t seem to act on his dreams.

So now Im basically facing the “Should I stay or should I go now?” because part of me feels like I’m holding back on living and being myself and doing what I want, with the usual “He would get mad, so I won’t”. But there’s the little voice that doesn’t want to do it, and then there’s the other voice thats like “are you kiddingg meeee!” I just cant get myself to actually perform the action of ending it.


Our Relationship Advice for You

It’s time to discover who you really are
by: Sarah

This is an unhealthy relationship. And there aren’t many people who can say they’ve been together for 7 years when they’re 21.

He is holding you back. You might just be in this relationship to say you’ve been together for so many years. You guys really aren’t in a relationship. 

You have many admirable qualities, as you seem to know. I think you have grown beyond your friend and perhaps you should just tell him so. Tell him how you really feel and why. Lord knows you’ve spent a long time being in a dysfunctional relationship – in your heart you know what is best for you. Act on it when the time is right for you.


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I am not sure what is really happening

I am not sure what is really happening

by Me

dating and relationshipsI met him in the summer. He is a very handsome Italian and i study here. I was still thinking about my ex so i needed something new. That’s why i decided that i want to have a one night stand.

Who’s better for that than the hot Italian guy that i met the other night?

So that’s how it happened. It was meant to be ONLY sex ONLY one time. But he started calling me. He took me out for a picnic, helped me with my lessons(he is older and graduated the same thing that i was studying). But after only 3 weeks i had to go home. We kept in touch the whole summer(sms-writing,emails). Everything was just fine. Except the fact that he already decided that he is going to Spain for a masters degree. The exact day i came back he left for Holland!

We stayed in touch all the time till xmas when he came home for 3 days and spent the 25th of dec night with me! It was Awesome! The next time we met was in Feb only for few hours and now he is in USA(as part of his masters). He is gonna be there for a while, and we talk on skype.

i don’t know what to think. He told me the last time when he was here and i was freaking out about him going there and sleeping with aussie girls and he hugged me and said “i am not sleeping with aussie girls DON’T WORRY!”

I don’t know what to think now. Is he my boyfriend? What should i do?


Our Dating Advice to You

So you got yourself an Italian…
by: Roberto

Take a deep breath and relax a little bit…

Right now, you are just two people that are digging on each other. Sure, you had sex. That’s not a huge deal. What is a huge deal is that you don’t live anywhere near to each other so you have to change your attitude.

You never really mentioned if you dumped your boyfriend or not so let’s assume you did. It’s probably better anyway…

When trying to get a long distance thing started, it’s important to always be a reminder of how awesome you are. He has no reason to consider you girlfriend material if you are already trying to limit his activities in Australia (or anywhere for that matter).

Be the fun-loving happy girl he met that first night. The longer you can hold onto who that girl was, the more likely this guy will be to enter into an LDR.

Since you met him under cheating circumstances, it’s probably best that you not draw attention to this by mentioning him cheating on you. Avoid that subject altogether.

What you can do is be fun and flirty on the phone, be deep and meaningful by email, and be sexy whenever you text. Why? When he hears your voice, he must be reminded of those moments you have already shared together. Email allows you time to be a bit more deliberate and let it give you two a chance to get to know each other deeper. And texting is just a waste when it comes to long distances; you might think you are being witty and he just might get insulted so only use it for deliberate and obvious things like sex or to tell him you were dreaming about him.

Just don’t push things in any one direction and things might have a good chance for you two!

The Art of Irresistible


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He Stole Everything from Me

by Jessie, 27

he stole everythingMy ATM card was missing. I assumed that I had been robbed somehow, so that night we went down to the local Police station. He tried to talk me out of it, but I filed a report.

The more we investigated, the more I realized was missing. To make matters worse, his job had ended for the season, so neither of us had any money. That should have been a sign for me, but then love can make a person blind. Well, blinder than usual. Continue reading

He Faded Out of the Relationship

He Faded Out of the Relationship

by collegegirlNk

dating and relationshipsMy ex and I dated near three years, mostly long distance. The first year was fine. He loved me to death, a nice gentleman, spoke to me nearly every day. Of course, half the time we spent arguing over pointless things but in the end we always got a good laugh out of it.

Then things started going downhill for him which changed him through and through. He started hanging with the wrong crowd and treating me badly, disrespecting me and such. Soon after he got out of the crowd, his grandmother died who he was close to then a few short months later his mom died from a wreck. He was so devestated and depressed. He couldn’t sleep over nightmares and so he would call or text me and I would stay up with him talking no matter school night or not.

Eventually he started pulling further away from me and he just faded out of the relarionship. He wouldn’t tell me how he was feeling, he became snappy and moody. He even quit some of his favorite hobbies over the situtation. I know everyone handles deaths differently and I gave him space did all I could to help him because I have been in similar situation before, but nothing seemed to help. Sometimes he even went to the point he wouldn’t argue with me anymore. He would just tell me the famous words “Whatever, do what you like.”

He was slowly crushing my heart and it nearly killed me being so far from him not being able to help him more. His mood continued to sour worse. He soon started leaving big gaps between communicating with me days sometimes weeks. I finally gave in almost two years later by breaking up with him. Even then, he didn’t even seem to care that much, he told me it was probably for the better.

So here I am a few months later still wondering if I did wrong or right on my part, I still care about him but the guy who I fell in love with and who loved me in return isn’t there anymore. Now and then, the last few months of the relationship he would act his normal self for a few mins but then slip into back being Mr Grump.

I’m coming into near a year since the breakup and I got myself back to not dating because I am one of those girls who likes being independent and not very thrilled about most guys who attempt to woo me.

As for my ex, I hear rumors from friends and lately he has been trying to re-establish contact with me online over the last month so it pretty much was a sad ending for us both, but as he said perhaps it was for the best.


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