by Anonymous
It’s a long story…
I’ve been with the same guy for almost 8 years. A few years ago, he confessed to me that he had feelings for my best friend. I didn’t think it was a big deal because, hey, things happen, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t find someone else attractive.
At first it was okay, then about a year ago he started to drive me nuts. He needed to tell her, and I said fine. She’s married, she’s not going to be interested. Well, lo and behold, she was totally interested, and while I had always had no problem with them being friends before, now I could not stand the fact that they were spending time together while I was working, so we split up.
Just like that, I lost my partner of many years and my best friend, whom I had known since I was a kid. They dated, but things did not work out, and he eventually came to me, wanting to get back together and get her out of the picture. It took me a long time to trust him and to know for sure that she was really gone and there was nobody else he was interested in. So that’s my justification for the next part of the story.
Part 2, My Same Issue
A few years ago, I met a guy, and I didn’t care for him. I thought he talked too much, was too confident… I don’t know, just turned me off.
Some time after we first met, I actually spoke with him one-on-one for the first time, and we struck up a friendship. Since we had a collegial relationship, we started to work on a lot of projects together. We made a conscious choice and actually discussed it: We like each other and want to be close friends. Of course, I was in a long-term relationship, and he had a girlfriend he was crazy about, so we were safe, right?
I had a couple of family emergencies within a short period of time, and he was my #1 supporter– not my partner. I realized how much I liked him: more than was really appropriate. I saw him through new eyes, and the better we got to know each other, the more strongly I felt toward him. Both our significant others started to grow jealous, and people started to ask questions about the way we talked, the way we looked at each other, but we really were innocent.
I had no idea how he felt about me, and no intention of ever telling him how I felt. He is the most gorgeous, kinda rugged, masculine person I have ever laid eyes on, and I am… cute, I guess, a little overweight, nothing to write home about. I know and have always known that I attract people to me with my personality and the way I treat others. I’m proud of that, but it hasn’t ever made me the belle of the ball. I just assumed he didn’t see me as more than a friend.
So at the same time I was going through all this turmoil and stress of losing my relationship and my friendship, my birthday rolled around and he confided in me that he and his girlfriend had broken up. He was upset, but we had a fun night out for my birthday, and started spending quite a bit of time together. He met some of my close friends and family members, and my feelings toward him continued to grow stronger, to the point where I admitted (to myself and a few close friends) that I was in love with him.
About a month later, he got back together with the girlfriend, and for whatever reason, completely quit speaking to me. Wouldn’t answer a text, or even say hi to me in passing. I was so hurt. During this time, my ex really wanted to get back together, and started to help me out and eventually moved back in. I figured, this is the way things are now.
Fast forward two months
Some things happen professionally that kind of force us to talk to each other, and he texts me, we need to talk. After a bit of back and forth and changing plans, we finally met up at a bar to have a face-to-face talk. At first, we just made small talk, then he confessed that his girlfriend had absolutely forbidden him from talking to me.
He was not too thrilled about the way things were going with her, and he missed me and he wanted to be friends again. Then as the beer continued to flow, the conversation started to change course toward how he thinks I’m a great person and I think he’s a great person. We had always had a habit of clinging to each other when we were drinking, and as we stood in a crowded bar talking to strangers, wrapped up in each other’s arms, I thought, there is nowhere I’d rather be. I also noticed his hands in my hair, his lips brushing my forehead, and… yes, a raging hard-on. But I had someone waiting for me at home, who didn’t know where I was or who I was with, and who wanted me to pick him up a late-night snack on the way home. So we paid our (huge) tab, and walked out together. Since we were parked far apart and in a bad neighborhood, we walked out to his car so he could give me a ride over to mine.
What happened next is a blur to me, but at the same time one of the most dramatic, sexy, climactic moments of my life. Somehow or another, I realized I was biting his lip, we were laughing, he was trying to feel me up through a winter coat.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I’m sorry this took so long.”
“I want you so bad.”
“Oh my goodness.”
“I have to go.”
So I went. This was just 2 days ago…. In the meantime, we have seen each other very briefly, surrounded by people who do NOT need to know about this. We have texted back and forth quite a bit… And we are planning to get together this week for the sole purpose of having sex. The time, date, and place are set, and guess what? I’m fucking doing it. It’s not about getting revenge on my partner, who didn’t technically cheat on me (even though I do feel like I am justified in doing whatever the hell I want). It is 100% about having this experience, at least once in life, of making love with someone I am truly IN love with. I care so deeply about him, and he has made it explicitly clear in these last few days that I am the queen of his world, at least in terms of this one time, and I can have whatever I want. So I’m going to get it.