Trust betrayed but still in love
by Claire
(Cornwall)
Me and my partner have been together for 3 years now.
When i met my man, he was an alcoholic so things were tough but we always managed to get through our troubles. He no longer drinks as much and he’s made me so proud at the changes he’s made. The only problem is he occasionally has lapses and when this happens he drinks to the point where he can’t remember any of the events that took place during the evening.
I always trusted him and never thought that i had to worry about him cheating but recent events has made me think otherwise. In November we went to a gig together and whilst we were out he got so drunk that he ended up passionately kissing two girls in front of me. He claims that he thought that he was kissing me and would have never have done it intentionally. The girls did come onto him and he did look disgusted and pushed them away after he realized what was going on.
We decided to carry on with the relationship as normal and try to forget the incident ever happened, this has proved to be more difficult than thought. We get on great have lovely weekends together but as soon as he goes out for an evening I’m a nervous wreck and sit at home in tears. This then turns into arguments: how do i know that he wont do it again and that it hadn’t happened before i had to witness it myself? It’s got to the point where i even dream of him being with other women.
I moved away to study in September so we are juggling a long distance relationship, this makes it even worse as i feel he’s not satisfied and will look elsewhere for intimacy. I love him so much and when we’re together we are great. He always tells me how much he loves me and has always talked about marriage saying he see’s me as a partner for life.
I don’t know what to do because i cant control my jealousy anymore and Ive not been able to regain my trust towards him. Is calling it a day the best option? Is there something that can be done to save our relationship?