The signs of flirting. What is he really saying?
Of all the questions we get, the signs of flirting are at the top of the list: “What are the types of flirting signals?” “Is eye contact flirting really flirting?” “What are the signs guys are flirting with me?” “Is he flirting with me or is he just really friendly?”
The tricky thing about signs of flirting is that he can show you all the signs men give when flirting, but if you don’t do a little flirting back, you’ll never really know if he’s into you or not. Before we get into what he’s thinking, we need to put you in the game too with a few flirting tips for girls.
The problem with the dating scene today is that everyone is trying so hard to be cool and not show too much interest. This leads to all kinds of confusion for both of you. The magic of flirting is that it allows you to act cool and be smooth, but you also get to let him think about you that way.
The best guide to interpreting the signs of flirting is that if you have the “is he flirting with me” question in your head, then YES he’s probably flirting with you! You absolutely need to flirt back. So what kind of flirting tips do we have to offer? There are tons. But first, lets point you in the direction of a perfect book to turn you into a flirting diva. Check out The Secrets of Flirting with Men by Mimi Tanner. Once you can figure out what you need to do to get his attention, then interpreting his flirting signals are a snap.
How cool would it be to know so much about flirting that you can tell exactly what a man is thinking at any given moment?
The body language of flirting
Communication is about 80% body language and so are nearly all the signs of flirting. In other words, don’t pay attention to what he says. Pay attention to what he does. He could be calling you a brat or making fun of your clothing, but he’s standing really close and touching your arm when he does it. What does it mean? Girl, that boy is interested.
So what types of body language flirting are there? Believe me, being a girl is so much easier. We have an arsenal of flirts we can pull out at any moment. You can get more information on flirting for girls, here. But for a guy, he’s pretty straight forward. This is kind of why it makes it so difficult to figure out. The signs guys are flirting are way different than some of the ways women use. Lets check a few out:
- Eye contact flirting. So many people have problems with eye contact. It’s invasive. It’s a sign of aggression. It’s confusing when a guy stares you down like that. Does he like you or does he want to hack you into bits? There’s no doubt that eye contact flirting should probably be done subtly on his part, but then again, it’s really intriguing to have someone stare into your soul like that…So what do you do if a cute guy is staring you down? Stare back! Practice this one thing and you will become a mystery to your suitor. This trick here is to hold a gaze right up until the moment it feels weird. Yes, this will take some practice to figure out, but once you get good at your own eye contact flirting, you will be able to get a guy from across the room to come up and talk to you.
- Touch flirting. When a guy touches you, it’s one of the most obvious signs of flirting. Some guys are just super touchy and have their hands on everyone, but most only do it when it means something. We are not talking about groping or humping your leg or anything to blatant (although if he’s doing any of that, he definitely likes you for something). A touch on the arm, brushing up against you, bumping you, touching your hair, resting his knee against yours… anything where it seems like he’s going out of his way to be close to you are excellent signs of flirting.You know what we are going to say here: touch back! Don’t do it right away. We still need to act a little reserved here, but touching his arm when he makes you laugh or even playfully punching him when he teases you are great ways to show you like him back and encourages him to keep flirting. You have to help him escalate the flirting in order for him to take the leap and ask you out. This is one of the most important things about signs of flirting for you to figure out. To get really good at it, check out The Body Language Project.
- Adjusting his appearance. Does he “straighten himself out” when he sees you? This could be totally unconscious on his part, but we all do it. It’s also a pretty unmistakable sign of flirting. He wants to look his best for you (who wouldn’t) so he straightens his shirt or messes with his hair. Like we said, there aren’t very many ways how men flirt, but once you see the signals of flirting, you are in.What do you do in this case? Mirror him. Do what he just did but be little less obvious. If he adjusts his hair, wait a few moments and slowly run a hand through yours. You aren’t really preening here. You’re just doing a super sexy model maneuver that will make his little heart melt. See how easy this stuff is?
- He swells up. Huh? What does that mean? Guys try to look more manly when they’re flirting. Why? Because most women are biologically attracted to manly men (or at least a guy who’s most likely to produce strong, healthy babies). He’s trying to be the biggest gorilla in the jungle. It doesn’t stop with posturing, he might also do something fake dangerous or even real dangerous to impress you. Does it impress you? Who cares. He’s doing what he thinks with show you his signs of flirting.There’s not many ways to reciprocate signs of flirting for when he sucks in his belly and pushes out his chest. You can act a little bit more submissive when you see this. It actually does work, but some women aren’t interested in playing the sumissive role.
- Positioning his body. When he’s showing his signs of flirting, he will open up to you. Basically, he will turn his body starting with his feet or hands towards you. He’ll uncross his arms, sit facing you, and maybe lean in closer to you. He can’t help it, he digs you so he’s making it as obvious as he can.Once again, the best thing you can do is mirror his actions. Uncross your arms, turn towards him, lean in closer. Who knows, the next thing you might be feeling is his lips on yours…
Getting to know the signs of flirting is pretty fun and it gives you great insight into what’s going through his mind. It you want the best of all the flirting advice, it’s really important for you to get good at learning how to flirt.
Great flirts are magnetic people. Most people think that you only use flirting to get the guy, but it’s something you always have to do. You need to flirt with your boyfriend to let him know how much you desire him. You need to flirt with your husband to always keep him wanting you. You need to text flirt whenever you think about him. You should be flirting in the workplace to make work fun. Flirting really is one of our favourite past times.
And finally, do we have any flirting tips for shy girls? The best thing you can do is to work on your confidence. The signs of flirting can be a mystery to someone who suffers from shyness, so start with that first. Over coming shyness makes every part of your life better and it makes you an unstoppable flirt!