“Advice for When You’re New to Dating”
Whether you are starting over or brand new to dating, there are things you need to consider when stepping out into the dating scene. Some people might tell you the world is a scary place and make you feel all self-conscious about dating, but as long as you keep your wits about you and are willing to have a ton of fun, being new to dating is nothing to be ashamed of.
First, I want to dispel some rumors for those of you just getting back into the dating scene after a long relationship: nothing in the way that people look for each other has changed!
Men and women are still seeking someone who compliments their social skills and their hopes and dreams. In fact, depending on how long you’ve been off the market, the only significant change in the world of dating is condoms. The change I’m referring to is that you should probably use them.
Other than that, there is no new social meme that will out anyone who is new to dating and make you look foolish. There is nothing you can say or do that will show you lack of knowledge about dating other than your general nervousness. The best advice you need right now is to not make those first few dates into anything too important. If you’ve had your eyes on a hot guy for years, do a few practice dates to get a feel for the whole process again. Get comfortable with the new you before you try to get to know your special guy a little better.
Confidence is still everything
As it has been for centuries, people are still very attracted to someone who is confident. Being new to dating can rattle even the most self assured person. You’re using skills you might not have ever used or you’re using charisma that you haven’t needed in forever.
This is a good thing!
In the dating world, especially with new people, there is nothing stopping you from presenting yourself as the person you’ve always wanted to be. Stop for a second and think about that… When you are new to dating, you really can be the person you’ve always seen hidden under years of not feeling so confident.
Actresses and rock stars do this all the time. It’s called modeling. Think of the perfect person: the person you’ve always wanted to be. What are all the qualities that make her so special? Why does she get all the guys and what makes her so irresistible? What parts of her persona can you embrace to make yourself more confident about your skills as a seductress?
Now I’m not telling you to start dressing like Lady GaGa and acting like a kook, but instead to think about someone’s most desirable qualities and try to channel that into your own self. You don’t have to act like Marilyn Monroe or Penelope Cruz or whoever gives you confidence. All you need to do before each new date is to think about who you want to model and ask yourself how they might handle this situation.
Believe me, it’s really empowering to walk into the first date when you are channeling all the sensuality of Angelina Jolie inside you! You’ll notice how you instinctively handle all situations with poise and power.
Pace yourself
When you are new to dating, don’t try to bite off more than you can chew. Don’t get me wrong, there is no better way to get good at dating again then stacking date after date (even in the same night), but don’t do this to the point where you are not paying attention.
Set your goals simple. You don’t need to rush to get remarried. You’re not replacing the guy you just lost. You’re simply looking for something new and exciting. You’re on a journey to rediscover the sexy new you. This process is as much about you finding yourself as it is you finding a great new guy to share a little bit of your life with. Not all of it! Not yet.
Give yourself some time to let your new found confidence to settle in and then you might be ready for something serious. Being new to dating and having to learn something new about yourself is an exciting time. Think of this as being born again. All the mistakes of the past are washed clean. That woman who used to feel trapped in her last relationship has been set free and doesn’t have to make the same mistakes she used to make.
Brand new to dating?
So far we’ve only covered women who are restarting their lives after long relationships. What if you are brand spankin’ new to dating? Perhaps you are just starting out on your own after living with very strict parents or just never felt it was important until now.
All the same advice applies as well as one other warning: don’t settle for the first guy you meet! I know you might find a great guy from the very beginning. It’s possible, but without going out on a few dates (both good and bad), you never really develop an understanding of the things you need in a man. Not only that, you never know how different guys can romance you.
It’s perfectly natural for someone to plow head-strong into that first major crush, marry him, and then years later, she wakes up and feels a tremendous ache wondering what else is out there. Since you’re new to dating, it’s important to at least get a glimpse of what else is out there. With 3 billion guys on this planet, you owe it to yourself to at least sample a handful before you choose one you want to keep!
If you are looking for further reading on how to get back into dating or just what to do now that you’re new to dating, there are a couple books you can’t do without. The first one is The Art of Irresistible. It covers a lot of the things we went through in this article. Most importantly, it helps you to make little changes in how you think of things to make you into a woman that men adore and can’t get enough of.
The second book teaches you a new way to look at how men think. The book, Rousing the Lion, introduces you to the concept of how to capture a man’s heart by making him have to conquer you. This is a very powerful idea and will turn on parts of his brain he didn’t know he had.
Being new to dating is nothing to be scared or ashamed of. In fact, it’s probably the most envious place you can be in. When everything is new, you get to learn great new things about yourself and you get the delicious pleasure of meeting great new guys and getting to know their innermost secrets.