Just a girl with a broken heart
by chelsea
(Ionia, MI, USA)
My ex and I broke up a couple months ago. My story is quite different from most. He was depressed when I first met him. After his grampa died, he lost his love for life.
He felt alone and lived with a pain in his heart everyday. I met him when his friend, the person I was seeing at the time kept ditching me to smoke weed with a different girl. He felt bad and would stay behind with me when they would leave right in front of me.
We would meet at this little restaurant place and talk about everything together. He was really good at art and when I told him how interested I was in his work, he was surprised. He said no one had ever really paid attention to it before. He opened up to me right away.
I had never met someone so interesting in my life. We made this little cartoon together named “Herald” and he would always draw him in notes he’d give me at school to make my day better. We were both kinda quiet people and a little depressed so when we got to hang out, it meant the world to both of us.
My mom did not want me to be around him at all because of his appearance. He always wore black or band shirts. He had gauges in his ears and lip piercings. The kind of guy u wouldn’t expect someone like me to fall for. I always wore dresses and bright colors and hung out with the more popular people even though my personality doesn’t fit the part.
I only had 2 hours per day to hang out with him so my mom wouldn’t find out. He had to see a counselor and every time he went to see him, he’d always talk about me and how I saved him. Even though he loved me, he was still depressed. One night, his mom found a suicide note he wrote to me and sent him to Pine Rest Mental Institute. I didn’t no how long he’d be in there so I felt so alone every time I went to school. He called me to tell me he was ok and that he loved me.
He was diagnosed with depression and he doctors tried to tell him that he didn’t really love me. He tried to hit the doctor and got put in solitary confinement.
The day he came back to school, I ran to him and started crying in his arms. He then tried to change into a person my mom would accept so he could be with me. He took out his gauges, he changed his clothes and his hair. He started running track with me and losing weight.
Every morning I walked in the school, his eyes wood light up like he’s seen the most amazing thing ever. He made me feel like the prettiest girl in the world. He’d always be waiting with a water and my favorite kind of pop tarts.
After a tough year, I got to see him graduate. I was so proud of him for making it through after all he had been through. Summer started and I was only able to see him once a week. After awhile, we were going to fall apart if I didn’t tell my mom. I ended up telling her and she blew up at me for keeping this from her. Eventually she excepted our relationship and let me stay over there when I wanted. I practically lived at his house in the end. We acted like a married couple.
Once college started, he started acting differently towards me. He was stressed all the time. His mom and I found out he was smoking pot and lying to us about it. He eventually got caught again and his time the police were involved and his mom kicked him out. He didn’t wanna lose me so he got help, but he was never the same.
He started ignoring me and only wanted time playing video games and guitar with his friends. I lost my best friend but he changed and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m just a girl with a broken heart. I’d just like to know how at one time he loved me with all his heart and now he’s content with me walking away…