Is he worth dating? 10 ways to tell if he will be a good boyfriend…
“How do I know if a guy is worth dating?”
What does he tell you about getting into a relationship?
It’s so common for women to meet a man who tells her that he doesn’t want a relationship but the woman continue to pursue him, hoping that she’ll be able to change him. This is recipe for disaster. I’m not saying that there aren’t men who say that they want a relationship when they really don’t but if he’s telling you that he doesn’t want one then trust him. He’s not playing hard to get and you probably won’t be able to change him, move along and find someone who actually wants to be with you. Because that’s what we want, right? A man loves us and wants to be with us. You will know is he worth dating and if he doesn’t want to be with you, he’s not good enough for you.
How does he treat service personnel?
When you’re on a date with a guy he does his best to impress you so you’ll get the best version of him. If you want to know his true colors look at how he treats people who he considers to be below him (waiters, taxi drivers, people handing out flyers etc.). Or better yet, look at how he treats his mother. His mother is his first female relationship and it’s the one he models all his other relationships with women from.
How does he react when he wants to get physical and you slow want things down?
A man who’s just in it for sex will be very hesitant to slow things down. Don’t be mistaken though, even good guys can be disappointed if you tell him you want to wait (that’s their instinct after all, we can’t blame them for that). The important thing is that he doesn’t make you feel guilty for saying ‘no’, that he doesn’t give you an ultimatum and that he doesn’t become aggressive (either with actions or words).
Does he lie about the little things?
Does he tell you he’s almost at your house then you find out he had just gotten out of the shower? This lie might seem insignificant but that also means that there wouldn’t be much trouble for him to tell the truth. For our brains there is no difference between white lies and big lies so if his integrity is weak then it’s much easier for him to lie about other, more important things as well.
Does he keep looking at his phone?
I know most of you will think that this is a sign that he’s seeing other women and while that might be the case the questions I want you to ask yourself is; is he present with me? Does he listen to me when I tell him things that matter to me? If his phone is more interesting to him than you are he won’t be very invested in the relationship. Maybe you’re not his top priority just yet but you should at least be more important than his phone.
He is too nice?
Sure, being nice is a good thing but if someone is being too nice that should be seen as a warning flag. Even if you find a perfect boyfriend you will disagree on some things and smaller arguments can be good because they show you that he’ll be around even if things get tough. Someone who’s overly careful not to cause any drama won’t be committed to all aspects of a relationship.
Does he ask questions about you?
A guy who only wants sex is very careful not to ask any questions about you; he doesn’t want to become involved in your life and his very protective of the distance between you two. It’s OK, and even beneficial, to have your own hobbies and your own life but he should be interested to hear about them. When we like someone, wanting to get to know them more comes naturally.
Is he nice about people he used to date or be friends with?
Even if you do your best in a relationship, sometimes it doesn’t last. If he is rude about all of his ex-girlfriends you can be pretty sure that he’s going to be rude about you too if things go south. Besides, we all have that one crazy ex but if all his exes are crazy then maybe he’s the crazy one.
Does he back up his words?
Your mother was right; actions do speak louder than words. I’m all for compliments and nice words but if he promise you things that he doesn’t deliver on then that’s a problem. This guy is likely using you because he doesn’t want to do any work or put in any effort into the relationship but he wants to make sure that you are just happy enough to stick around. You don’t need this guy in your life.
Is he interested in meeting your friends and family?
When we really like someone we want to know not just who they are but how they became who they are, we want to be a part of different aspects of their lives. This is similar to point seven; is he showing you that he’s interested in who you are as a person and in your life?
Is he worth dating? How well did he score on this list?
Karolina Lind is a body confidence, sex & relationships coach. Her passion is in helping women connect with their self-worth and find relationships that reflect that. Hear her talk on YouTube or check out her blog for more tips and insights.