I do not confess and I don’t feel bad. What is wrong?
by Riviera
(London, UK)
I have had a few pretty long-term relationships and had cheated on them all. Not compulsively but when things have come naturally, I have gone with it.
This is the way I live my life in all aspects. I go with the flow…
I do not confess and I don’t feel bad. Still I do not understand why I do it.
Here is a list of possible personal reasons:
- Another way to rebel against everything, including a loving and healthy relationship.
- For the thrill.
- To feel I am still free to indulge myself whatever way I want.
- Cause it has no (direct, immediate) consequences.
- I don’t look for it so it is a (false) way to not take blame for it.
- I don’t get emotionally involved.
To me all of them are true.
So what happened to me that I see nothing wrong in doing it as long as the other person does not know? I consider myself an emotionally faithful woman.
Our Cheating Advice to You
Accept who you are
So it sounds like you are stable and healthy. This is just something you do.
So then why don’t we just agree that this is what you do? How do you pull that one off? Honesty…
So it might not work on the guy you are currently dating to just say, “Hey, I’m at the point in my life where I’m dating. If you’re jealous or possessive or crazy, then go away.”
But for anyone new in your life… People will agree to any number of stipulations as long as you set them up from the very beginning. This is great because it also filters out the stalkers and nutjobs before you let them so deep into your life.
I think you’re doing fine and as long as you are up front with your boyfriends from the very beginning, there won’t be any residual guilt whenever you decide to have a little fun.
There’s a great article about open relationships that will give you some guidelines on how to keep everyone happy (especially you).