If I knew how to be popular, I know I could get better boyfriends

Question submitted by Janice, 18, Perth, Australia

“”I want to know how to be popular. I’’ve always been shy and never really had a lot of friends. This year I decided to make a change and trained myself how to be social and outgoing and something great happened. Boys started noticing me!

There is one bloke in particular that I’’ve always had a crush on, but he only runs with the popular crowd. He smiles at me and sometimes he flirts, but there’’s this unspoken thing that I’’m not part of the “in” crowd so it could never be.

I really like him and I want to be popular so bad so we can finally be together. How can I be more popular?””

How to be popular: dissecting the alpha female

Good for you Janice! You are overcoming your shyness and training yourself how to be more outgoing and you’re starting to figure out that knowing how to be cool can get you even further not only on the dating scene, but in life.

Popular people have an air of “ownership” that most other people don’t have. They act as if everyone is there for their amusement. They talk too loud and laugh at others. They hold the higher status and everyone else just… doesn’’t exist.

Those are some pretty bold statements. They are also a bit exaggerated just to prove a point. If you are really interested in how to be popular, you need to change some fundamental ways in which you think. Whether you are in high school or you’’re 40, having the Unstoppable Confidence to captivate the people around you will ensure you a better life.

So what does “Alpha Female” mean? It’s a reference to animals that travel in packs. Basically, the animal that takes charge is the Alpha. In these social structures, status often changes as the alpha gets challenged or becomes irrelevant. What does this mean to you? No one is born popular. It’s a collection of skills and mindsets they learn which, with the right set of beliefs and actions basically makes them popular. Don’t have any of these skills? Yes you do! It all starts with believing in yourself…

I am awesome

It’’s kinda hard to learn how to be cool if you don’’t hold this very basic belief. It’’s possible that many people throughout your life have told you different and so it’’s hard for you to admit how awesome you really are. Think about what makes you different from everyone else. What skills or special knowledge or interests do you have that make you unique?

There are things about you that many people would find fascinating if you ever got a chance to talk to them about it. So start talking about it. You are awesome. You are brilliant. You are captivating because of all the things that make you… you!

“C’’mon, this is crap! I’m awesome because I say I’m awesome?!!” Basically, yes! Look at some of the girls you consider popular. What makes them popular? They’’re cute. They have great hair. They date popular boys… Anything else? Usually, no. They are popular because they know deep down inside that they are awesome! Everything else is covered in How to be Beautiful You can have beautiful skin, you can have cool clothes, you can have a great body, but knowing you’re worth it is the magical ingredient.

I am entitled

Step two: you have to believe that you deserve a great life, fun friends, and an awesome boyfriend. Some people just walk into the room like they own the place. They tell people what to do and those people usually do it! Why? Because no one can resist someone who takes charge!

Watch how famous people act in public. They do anything they want to and they usually get away with it. With fame comes a certain entitlement. This entitlement is captivating and it’s easy for everyone to get sucked into it’s vortex. If you believe you deserve something convincingly enough, other people will believe it too.

This is a very powerful aspect of how to be popular, but be warned: don’’t be too arrogant about this. If you mix the perfect amount of entitlement with not a lot of attitude, people will notice you and they’’ll start to believe it too.

I don’t care what you think

Another aspect of the Alpha girl’s life is knowing herself well enough that the things that other people think of her doesn’’t affect her confidence. Sure, we all do stupid or dorky or klutzy things all the time, but it’s how we are affected by them that makes us irresistible.

Let’s say you trip in front of a bunch of people and they start laughing. The most immediate response is to run away crying (a response of a low status person) or you get up with as much poise and grace as you can muster and laugh about it with your friends (high status). Not being affected by other people’s reactions makes you very high status.

When you act like you don’’t care when other people are mocking and judging you, it makes you very cool to the people around you. It’s almost as if you are so high status that you can’t be bothered when the “peasants” are laughing at you.

I am outgoing, witty, and social

Like everything else on how to be popular, this is just another aspect of “fake it ‘til you make it.” If you’’re not outgoing, you have to force yourself to be. It all starts by saying “hi” to everyone, looking them directly in the eyes, and then you move on to commenting about something situational like their clothes or an experience you shared together. Once you have that mastered, then you move on to deeper subjects.

This step takes time and there is no real way to breeze through it. You have to make a conscious effort to connect with the people in your life. The more you try to be social, the better you become. The more you tell yourself, “”Dammit, I should have said…”” the more prepared you are for the next time you get to say something witty.

There are no failures here, just chances to learn and grow. If you ever say something stupid, remember, you don’’t care what other people think! You are making yourself a better person and they can go suck eggs if they think their mocking affects you.

I know how to be cool

You’’ve seen enough movies. You’’ve watched enough cool people. What do they all have in common? Being cool has a certain air of… serenity. Cool people are not affected by drama or disaster. They handle each obstacle with a tranquil calmness that impresses everyone else who’s freaking out.

There is a detached sense of well-being and the idea that everything is going to work out alright. Everyone loves people that are so cool just their presence signifies that things are good.

Stop freaking out. Stop creating more drama out of small occurrences. Understand that the worst thing that can happen is that you or someone else will die. If no one is dying, then it’s no big deal. Learning how to be cool is all about perspective. All the coolest movie stars are mysteries. They don’’t talk too much about themselves. They communicate so much with a silent nod or a sly smile. Be cool!

The Popular Marketplace

There is no “one thing” you can do to get more popular. Being cool and being popular is a collection of traits you can develop to get you where you need to go.

How to be confident

• If you want to start somewhere, there’’s nothing more important to all aspects of your life than being confident. Try the book Unstoppable Confidence. We can’’t say enough about how great this book is in giving you a solid beginning to making your life better in every way. Conquer shyness, body issues, failure issues and get the excitement for action to live a bigger, better, more fulfilling life! This book is what got the founders of this website to start it in the first place!

Learn how to talk to people

• Conversation Confidence is an entire audio system that you can listen to at home, when you’’re driving or when you’’re working out. It trains you how to be so confident in what you are saying that any fear of speaking or saying the wrong thing vanishes! Once you understand how to take advantage of any social situation, you will have that instant charisma that will make you very popular indeed!

Deep healing

Maybe you have been so shy and have felt so worthless for so long that all of this seems impossible. You think you’’ll never be confident or popular or outgoing and you have so far to climb that it’s not even worth the effort.

Shut UP! Yeah, we just told you to shut up! There is nothing more important than making yourself and your life better. Life is hard. Life isn’’t fair. You could even say, “Life sucks!” But it doesn’’t have to. If you are really in a bad place, then you need a little “reprogramming.”

• The Power of Self Hypnosis has a series of exercises that really work! The best way to get past emotional trauma, body issues, bad thoughts, depression, anxiety and relationship problems is to re-train your brain to work with you instead of it telling you how worthless you are. The fact remains, you can never be popular if you always feel like a fraud. If you’’re at the end of your rope and really need a serious boost of self-esteem and a well placed slap on the butt to get moving towards an awesome life with an awesome guy, then try self-hypnosis

Come back soon

As we review more great products to help you change the way you think, we’’ll post up only our favorites. Make sure you bookmark this page and find out other great ways to help you on the road of how to be popular! Don’t forget to check out our pages on how to be beautiful.

Back to top of How to be Popular
Back to How to be Attractive