He Won’t Talk to Me
by Shenna Sutton
(San Diego, CA)
I don’t know what else to do. He just won’t talk to me.
My boyfriend and I met a 5 months ago. We have been inseparable ever since. We’ve met each other’s parents. We’ve gone to Europe together. His friends like my friends. It was a perfect match.
A couple weeks ago he said he needed space and that he felt smothered. Of course, I freaked out and called him a coward and now he just won’t talk to me. I’ve talked to all of his friends and his mom and they have all put in a good word for me. I don’t know why he’s doing this and I have no idea what to do to get him back.
We were perfect together and now I feel terrified that I’ve driven him away forever. What can I do? He won’t answer my calls and he won’t talk to me?
Should I go over to his house? I still have his key.
Our Breakup Advice
Can you get him back?
I know you’re tempted to find out what went wrong, but you already know. Usually when a guy is seeking space he is feeling smothered, right? No one ever seems to wonder what it is that is smothering him! So what is crushing this great guy?
Love, you dummy!
He was really starting to get into you and really had no idea how to handle his feelings. So, being a guy, he decided to flee from these strange feelings and try to get his bearings.
…and then you called him a coward. Ouch!
Let’s not deal with blame here and get to the pressing question: can you get him back? First of all, if you actually use that key, there is no way he will ever let you back into his life! Do not do it. You have a lot of damage control to do right now. He only needed some time to sort through his feelings and you called him names. Then you talked to all of his friends. I hope you can see how this all kinda makes you look like a stalker.
So step one is to STOP IT! No more friend calling. No more contemplating that key. No more pining over a guy who won’t talk to you. He needs some time to work through the jumbled train wreck of emotions he’s dealing with and you’re not helping by popping up all over the place. Give that boy some time!
Second, you need to take this time to get awesome. If you really want this guy back, you need to look better, be in better shape, be happy, and have some interesting stories about how great your life has been.
When he makes that first contact again, it’s because he’s decided that you are pretty rockin’ and wants to be with you. If you are an irresistible package when he sees you again, prepare to fall directly into a long term relationship. If he comes back and you’ve turned yourself into a depressed couch-potato, then he simply walks away feeling like he dodged a bullet.
There are a lot of great books and knowledge on how to turn yourself into a super-mega-hottie in our relationship book reviews section that will help you get started right away. If he’s really worth it, then you better be ready to keep him for good. The more you know and the better you feel about yourself, the better your chances are of getting him back.
Now, there is a chance that he might not ever come back. What happens then? If you really followed this advice and worked hard on making yourself and your life awesome, you have an awesome life and great looks! You can get a guy way better than him now!