He Doesn’t Talk to Me
by Beth, 34
(Butte, Montana)
Me and My boyfriend have been together for about 4 weeks but started talking around June and got together in September. In the beginning, I wasn’t really into getting to know him. If he asked me to hang out, I’d make up some stupid excuse. There would be times when he’d bring up sex but I ALWAYS told him “I won’t have sex with you!” and he would stop talking about it.
Later on, he did not talk to me for days so I decided to erase his number and stop contact with him. Time went by and he finally decided to talk to me and the whole process of getting to know each other started again.
This time I actually decided to give it a try. We had some things in common but he wasn’t really the talkative type. I understood that but at the same time, he wasn’t giving me anything to work with.
So we finally hung out. I admit we fooled around but I strictly enforced my no sex morale. He said it was fine and he took me home but while on the ride home there was just silence. I didn’t think much of it. We kept hanging out but that would be every like 3 freaking weeks! But since he wasn’t my boyfriend then I had no reason to nag him.
There was also an occasion where we had like 30 sex but I didn’t want to go forward with it but he kept nagging and nagging that I gave in.
One night we were talking and he told me he thought I was really cute and that he liked me. I asked if he liked me in a friend kind of way. He said, “I could see myself dating you.” So we got together and at first everything was fine but now he went back to the person I told him I wouldn’t date. He doesn’t talk to me much. He won’t answer my texts at all. If I don’t text or call him, he won’t initiate communication. We rarely see each other and it just seems like he just stopped putting effort in us.
I’m the one always texting or calling first doing some sort of communication. I’m the one doing the effort and he’s just not really there. I understand he has a job he’s in college and also plays college football that is really time consuming but I told him if you are too busy for me lets just break it off and he says he wants to be with me.
My question is what do I do? I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to give up on us, but he’s just not showing interest in us anymore and he just doesn’t talk to me. It’s either he’s just too busy or he just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me its over.
Why won’t he talk to me?
Our Advice to You
I don’t get it!
What is 30 sex?
And why would you date a guy who’s already the silent type when you know you need way more communication.
That’s like buying a huge car and complaining about gas. He’s not gonna suddenly get all talkative because you brought him out of his shell. The way he treats you in the beginning is the BEST he will ever treat you.
So far I only get two things: he’s pushy and then he doesn’t talk to you.
Bad combo!