First Experiences
by Julia, 15
(Chicago)
I guess I should start by sharing that I’m 15, and this was my first “Relationship” If you could even call it that.
3 weeks ago, I returned from a month in Mexico where I was learning spanish with 5 other students. I’ll start at the beginning.
I met him at the airport. He’s 2 years older than me, and when we first met he was totally flirting with me, but I never wanted a relationship or guy drama, so I didn’t think much of it.
Looking back on it, I guess I was played. He messed with my feelings, and it all really started the first night we went out. I don’t really drink at home, but because it’s so relaxed in Mexico, I didn’t see a problem with it. But that night he convinced me to do two shots of tequila, and when I was completely drunk, he took care of me.
We went to Acapulco and he kissed me and we danced together the entire night…Later that night we were lying by the pool, holding hands, and he asked me if we should go to my hotel room- I didn’t, because I didn’t want to lose my virginity then.
The next night he ignored me, and was dancing and making out with other girls right next to me. When this older man tried to take advantage of me I asked him for help and he wouldn’t- he was apparently too busy. Later on, I slapped him.
When we talked later I thought we agreed to forget that night and focus on fun because we would be together for two more weeks- but for the next week all he did was ignore me and would barely even look at me.
All that changed a week later- we started talking again and were making out by my house and he told me he really did like me and it wasn’t just for fun.
We went out one night and he kept pressuring me and i told him no, but we still went very far, which was a big deal for me because it was the furthest I had ever gone with someone.
He told me numerous times that we would see each other when we got back. The day after we returned, he said that he would see me after he went to Wisconsin for 3 weeks. During those 3 weeks, he ignored my texts, never called me back, etc.
Yesterday I finally confronted him, and I told him that he should have never said he would see me again, and that he was using me the entire time. His response? “It’s done, why are you so attached, I’m sorry we can’t be together forever, what did you ever want from me”
He would have never even said anything to me if i hadn’t brought it up. He was going to basically ignore me until I went away- he didn’t even respect me enough to break up with me.
It just hurts so much because everything was new to me, and it meant so much. It’s hard to know that while I developed feelings for him, I meant virtually nothing to him.
Greattttt first relationship.
Our Love Advice to You
Set Your Own Standards
You are young and have so much to learn. Explore until you find the right young man – it is never too late to begin again. Respect yourself and others will too.
Men are odd creatures – most do not know how to handle their own sexuality in a dignified manner. It is up to us women to set and communicate and even then enforce the standard. You must trust that we all attract what we believe we deserve. You deserve all the best!