Two lovers from two different worlds

Two lovers from two different worlds

by Aggy O’Brien, 20
(New York)

dating and relationshipsI am 20yrs old and I’ve been dating a boy a year younger than me for almost two years now. We met in High School and got together right before graduation. Our relationship has been on & off.

I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, perhaps more than my love to him. He is my 3rd boyfriend I’ve had but I am his first.

The problem is he’s from Bangladesh & some stupid tradition from his parents prohibits him from having a girlfriend. They’ll choose a girl for him to marry. I hate that tradition. I mean c’mon we’re in the US now. We have freedom of expression. He’s been hiding our relationship from his parents. That’s the only way for him to be with me.

As for me, my parents didn’t & still don’t agree with our relationship. I’m Catholic and he’s Muslim. I’m expected to get a white boyfriend. I am from Indonesia but my dad is white & he was born in the US.

The thing is, unlike my boyfriend, I always try to get what I want. I made my parents accept my boyfriend.

I’ve been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. We’ve done it several times but somehow always got back together. My question is, is it right to break up if we still deeply care & love each other?

My boyfriend doesn’t want to marry & he too, knows that there won’t be future for us because his parents will never agree. I am done playing around and I want a boyfriend whom I can depend on for the future. I want to settle down. I want to go to my boyfriend’s house (so far it’s always him who comes to my house) and be introduced to his parents.

I want to have a normal relationship! Because of this tradition, my boyfriend doesn’t kiss or hug me in public, when we walk near his neighborhood, he doesn’t even hold my hand, he pretends not to know me.

I know that this isn’t completely his fault. Not everyone is brave like me, challenging stupid tradition. I love him so much but I see darkness on our way ahead.

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1 thoughts on “Two lovers from two different worlds

  1. founders

    Hun, I would do a lot of reading on that culture to understand it. Your predicament is very sad for you both. The issue is not about you or your acceptance, it’s going to be about his honour and his family name. This will be huge for him and the repercussions may end up affecting people other than you and your boyfriend. It’s not a religious issue either… its will be cultural. If it by some chance did work out, how will his peers treat you? what will your marital expectation be and what will be expected of your children. You have to look at the big picture together and make a decision but be very aware of the implications and impact on your future.

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