Long Distance Problem
by love dinh
(Manhattan , NY)
I’ve been going out with this guy for quite a while… One day he told me he had to go to another state to work . I tried to convince him to stay, but then felt I shouldn’t do that to him. He needed to go there and work. His family lives there too.
I thought long distance was going to work but sometimes I feel like I should just let go. This long distance relationship is not going anywhere.
I’ve asked him so many times when is he going to settle down and he always answers me, “I don’t know.” I was fine with that because neither of us is ready to settle yet. One day he told me he can’t do this anymore… I tried to fix this, but then I have to respect him so I decided to let go…
I would have never thought this would kill me so much. I’m the type of girl that doesn’t look forward to love that much. Now my life is horrible. I can’t focus on anything. If he said he had cheated on me, then I’d definitely let go. This long distance relationship… It’s not fair.
Recently, my friend and her ex got back together and in my head it’s like, “You’re lucky because he is near you there’s still a chance.” But what can I do?? Nothing… there’s no chance at all. I know he had feelings for me, it’s just this long distance is just not going well for us. I really don’t know what to do.
…btw this is my first relationship
It’s really killing me. I hope you guys out there feel me.
Our Love Advice to You
Long Distance Relationships Are Hard
It’s so difficult to make long distance relationships work when you are feeling needy. In fact, the only way it could possibly work is if both people are very comfortable with themselves and their lives.
The moment you started pressuring him to settle down, is the moment you started losing him. It’s one thing to have this talk when you have him in front of you to influence him with your charms. It’s a completely different thing when you are miles away grilling him to be yours. It just doesn’t work.
Men are analytical creatures. When they can’t see the benefits right in front of them, then it has no effect on him at all.
All is not lost. You need to give him some space to miss you… to really miss you. If he decides on his own that he’s blown a good thing, he will come back. It has to be his decision and there isn’t much pleading you can do to help him with it.
For now, be cool and focus on your life. Make it into something he would be jealous of. You should also read up on how to make your life awesome. Roberto Hogue’s book, The Art of Irresistible will get you on track to finding your inner hotness. Follow that book and he’ll step over his own mother to get you back!