Even if You’re Gone…
by Miaka
(Quezon City)
Hi, just call me Miaka. I can’t reveal my true identity because I’m too scared to be known, especially to my ex boyfriend. Let us call my ex bf under the name “Kulit” because that’s what I called him when he just started courting me, but when we become a couple, everything changed…
Kulit is the most insensitive man I’ve ever known. He doesn’t make any effort to make me feel that he loves me but still I love him with all my heart.
We’ve been together for 4 years and we have an on-and-off relationship. We always argued about him flirting with other girls. I’ll always catch him exchanging sweet messages with other girls and he will defend himself that it was nothing. It came to the point that I grew tired of all the fighting and told him that if he doesn’t love me anymore, just tell me and I’ll set him free. He just told me that he wanted to be alone for awhile so I give him what he wants.
Then a week later, I came to know the truth that he has another girlfriend aside from me, I felt unbearable pain inside my heart. After asking myself what happened, how can he do this to me after all the care and love I have done to him? Why does it hurts so much? Why do these things keep happening to me?
I keep my mouth shut because he doesn’t hear a single word from me. I just keep the pain inside me and cry quietly alone and when no one is watching, and trying to forget everything. We didn’t have a formal break-up and until now, 8 months after the separation. We didn’t see and talk to each other again and until now. Everything is left unclear.