What are the signs of infidelity?
Is he cheating on me?
The signs of infidelity are pretty easy to spot if you know what to look for. Once you read this article, some things might jump right out at you. Some things will be more difficult to pinpoint. If he’s showing all of the signs of an affair and it’s that obvious, It’s likely to mean that he’s been doing it for a long time and has gotten careless in covering up his tell-tale signs of infidelity.
WARNING: sometimes you just don’t want to know. Sometimes it’s easier to just act like nothing is wrong. This is where people get into bigger trouble than they were trying to avoid. “How is that possible? How could him cheating on me not be the worst thing to have happen?”
He could give you sexually transmitted disease.
He could have children with the woman (or women) he’s sleeping with. Your friends and family might know about it but they can’t tell you because they know you will just get angry at them. Being cheated on makes you look pathetic. Most people that have freed themselves from cheating relationships look back with disgust that they could have been so stupid about the whole thing.
The quicker you find out and the quicker you do something about it, the easier it will be to recover from this heartbreak. The signs of infidelity are right there in your face. You just need to know where to look. The next step is to figure out what you are going to do. There are two books that will help you through these difficult times, the first one will help you figure out if your discoveries are actually true. Bust Liars tells you all the ways he’s going to deflect the “are you cheating on me” question. You’ll be able to know for sure if he’s telling you the truth. Not only that, the skill of knowing when and if people are lying to you will make it impossible for this to ever happen to you again. Not many people are that good at lying either. Check out this great article on how to lie to see into the mind of a liar.
The second book will take you from discovery of the signs of infidelity to action. What will you do when you discover the signs of infidelity? Can you save your relationship? Should you save the relationship? Can you ever trust him again? Is this a moment of weakness or is he a serial cheater? These are all things you need to consider or you run the risk of being miserable in a shaky relationship for a very long time. Should You Stay or Should You Go is a lifesaver! No one should have to go through something like this alone, but we all do. You will look back at these moments years from now and feel shame in the decisions you’ve made UNLESS you get some real perspective and make deliberate and well-thought-out decisions.
And now for the signs of infidelity. Keep in mind, some people just act this way. You must compare the way he is currently acting with how he’s been with you in the past.
This one is the least tangible of the signs of infidelity, but something’s wrong. He’s acting removed or secretive. He might even be acting happier and animated. Although this might be a welcome breath of fresh air that he’s floating around like a wood nymph, he could actually be acting this way because he’s getting his freak on with his secretary.
Don’t doubt your intuition. If you think something is up, then there’s a really good chance that you are right. He’s acting weird and it’s making you suspicious. Don’t push these thoughts away. Explore them. Are you being perceptive or are you just being paranoid? The better you know yourself, the easier this step is.
The sex is different
Some dudes feel so guilty about cheating on you that they will be afraid to touch you. Some dudes will get so invigorated by some side action, that he will bring his new found knowledge into your bedroom. If he’s not touching you at all or he’s breaking out moves that are way beyond his previous interests in sex, then he’s showing one of the most classic signs of infidelity.
What if there never was that much sex to begin with? Shame on you! If he’s not cheating now, he’ll definitely be thinking about it. Men use sex as one of their very few outlets to release stress and gain some kind of renewal. If he’s not getting any, you can bet his mind is racing.
Since you are the only one that can help this relationship, you need to be a bit more active in initiating sex.
Let’s face it. If that guy gets any underwear, you’re usually the one getting it for him. If his tighty whities with the holes in the crotch get replaced with some leopard print banana hammocks, and he’s the one who bought them, you can bet he’s starting to care who sees him in his undies.
He doesn’t care that you see him in his ugly underwear because you love him, but he does car that the other girl might think he’s a pig. This is one of the most important signs of infidelity he can give you.
A new fitness kick
You saw him back in the day when he was ripped. As your love turned to comfort, he gradually lost interest in his looks and renewed his love for Doritos and beer. If he’s now hitting the gym with the vigor of Conan the Barbarian, he’s got influential reasons to do so
Now some guys get that scary wake-up call from their doctors and decide that their health is an important goal, but if he starts working out for no apparent reason, he might be interested in looking good in those leopard print banana hammocks!
He accuses you of cheating
Cheaters have cheating on their minds. Once they see that they did it and got away with it, they’ll think you might know something that they just discovered. If he’s accusing you of cheating on him, especially if it’s out of the blue and for no apparent reason, then he knows something
This is a giant red flag for the signs of infidelity. Cheaters will always put things in the terms of their own experiences.
Let’s face it, if someone is always deleting their history and covering their tracks on their computer, you can guaranty they are not hiding their Hello Kitty fixation.
Sure he could be hiding all the pornography he’s looking at, but you know his email address. If you come across a new email address, odds are, he’s got it for “other activities.” There are websites like ” AshleyMadison” that are all about having an affair. If he’s got a different email address, it might be used to hide something secret.
He is gone more than normal
One of the surefire signs of infidelity is that he’s never around anymore. Somehow he has been forced to spend late hours at the office or gets called away inconveniently or unexpectedly.
So now he finds himself making tons of excuses as to why he has to leave or will be home very late or even go away on a job related trip. Does his job really require him to leave town for a weekend? Be afraid especially if he usually takes you along and now you are no longer invited.
Guilt can do a number on someone’s conscious. They make up for it by getting you something nice. A sort of payment for your unknowing silence.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of gifts for no reason and this shouldn’t be a reason to question the appearance of great gifts, but if this is just one of the many signs of infidelity, than it’s best you don’t throw away the box it came in just in case
He showers a lot
You gotta get the stink of another woman off of your somehow. When your man comes home form work, they smell like they always do: the normal smell of a body that’s been in his clothes all day long (or food if he’s in the food industry, etc.). If he smells like a fresh shower, something’s up.
Maybe he showered at the gym (due to his new fixation on health), but you love this guy. You know what he smells like. If he is consistently smelling different, he might be having an affair.
Stains in his underwear
If you’re really freaked out, this is the last place you should look. The smell of sex gets transferred into his underwear even if he was using a condom. If you really have to know, buy him some new underwear and make sure it’s black. If those tell-tale white smudges occur in his underwear on days that you know for sure that you didn’t sleep together, then he’s showing you his signs of infidelity without saying a word.
Please note: Doing a daily underwear check is kinda freaky and will drive you crazy so only do this one as a last resort.
Other signs of an affair
Condoms, phone calls where someone hangs up, lipstick smears, perfume, an “extra set” of clothes in his car, receipts, large phone bills, not answering his phone, his phone being “dead” all the time These are all indications that he could be having an affair.
All of these add up to something being wrong and you need to figure out where to go from here.
Once a cheater, always a cheater
If you’ve ever cheated on someone and gotten away with it, you know how empowering it feels. It’s like you’ve been told your whole life that eating ice cream will kill you. And then one day, by accident, you eat some and discover that not only are you still alive, ice cream is delicious!
The same principle applies to infidelity. You’ve been told your whole life that it’s bad and you will get caught. Once you do it and get away with it, it gives you a kind of invincible feeling.
I’m not saying that people don’t and can’t change, but if your love is showing all these signs of infidelity, it’s likely he’s been doing it for a long time. He’s like the tiger who’s tasted human flesh
For now, it’s imperative you check out Should You Stay or Should You Go to really examine what actions you need to take now that you’ve discovered the signs of infidelity. Sometimes, the first step is the hardest, but you don’t have to do it alone.