Love-Hate Relationship
by Nina
(Australia)
I like a guy who I never used to get along with. We are both 17 and go to school together. We hang around with the same small group of close friends but have never gotten along ourselves; we would argue about pretty much everything and always have conflicting opinions.
Over the past year or so, we have learned to get along better. We can hold a decent conversation and be nice to each other in the group. Anyway, I’ve also realized I like him. I tried to ignore it at first, but it’s been ages and it isn’t going away. I don’t know what to do.
While we get along better and don’t act like we hate each other anymore, it’s still pretty awkward between us outside of a group situation. It seems strange for me to even go up and say hi to him and would be weird for me to talk to him on facebook. Our friends often tease us about actually having a ‘love-hate’ relationship or secretly liking each other, which we have both always taken great offense to. This also means that when we are having a good conversation one of them will often make a remark and that will immediately end it. Neither of us have had a relationship before (that I know of), and I am pretty awkward and shy around guys in general, and it’s worse with him. I don’t think I’d have the confidence to go right up and tell him.
I have no idea if he would feel the same, sometimes I think I notice possible signs but I suspect I’m just over-reading pointless things. How can I drop hints that I might like him without being obvious, and how can I pick up clues that he might like me more easily?
We really don’t have much in common, like I said we have very conflicting opinions about everything from trivial things to deeper matters, and we have completely different personalities and like different things. It’s the perfect love-hate-relationship I have a lot of trouble starting a conversation with him that isn’t awkward or obvious.
I really like him and I don’t think it’s going to go away anytime soon. Could you give me any hints on how I can talk to him without it being awkward? How can I hint to him that I might like him and read into whether he might feel the same? How can I develop a better friendship with him? Is there even any point in a relationship between two such completely different people?
Our Advice to You
This Happened to me too!
There was this guy in high school that I faught with all the time. We were downright cruel to each other!
A few years later, we met at a party and hit it off immediately. We started dating and it was super hot since all of the tension build up over the years. I highly recommend it!
I think your problem will be with your other friends. They will probably make this very difficult and make you guys regret your decision. The goal should be to hook up in private until you just can’t take it any more, then you can go public and be sure to let them know the you two have been together for a long time. That way, they can’t do anything that will influence how you feel about each other.
Now how to get together… No one can be blamed for what they dream. When you guys are alone, tell him that you had a dream about him. When he asks about it, tell him about you guys doing something then falling into each others arms for the perfect kiss. Be descriptive and vivid!
He has two options: to kiss you or make some rude comment. Don’t get offended at the rude comment; it’s how you guys treat each other. If he does say something smarmy, counter with “I know, but I woke up with my heart pounding! I’ve been so busy battling with you, it just made me realize how cute you are.”
Then flick him in the nose and skip off.
Did I just say that? YES! Plant a seed and see how it grows! It might happen right away, or it might take awhile, but you just turned the tables to flirty so you won’t blow it by coming out blubbering how much you love him only to have him laugh. You can get him. Just stay flirty.
If you need more info, check out The Art of Irresistible to learn how to captivate him completely.