Fooling Around
by StuckInNC
(Charlotte, NC)
I met a guy online. We had our first date about 3 weeks ago. It was great.
He rented a boat, packed food, drinks, etc. complimented me all night, we have great chemistry and passion. He stayed at my house that night and we ended up “fooling around”.
He contacted me several times, then the next weekend he had his children and said he wanted to get together again. Invited me to a pool party but then uninvited me since he had his kids and thought it might be too soon to meet them.
We ended up seeing each other that Sunday, went to dinner, were chatting and I just casually asked “so what do you want” and he said you mean in everything? I said yes and he said “I don’t know what I want (in a relationship) but I know what I don’t want.” So I didn’t ask anymore questions. We left dinner went back to my house and of course… ended up fooling around again. We still had a great connection, etc.
That night, he started getting sick, achy, fever, etc. The next day he had to go to the doctor with a lung infection, cold, etc. I sent him a text asking how he was and no response until the next day and he texted back with what the doctor said. His birthday was that Friday so I texted him that Thursday (if he felt better) I would like to take him to dinner.
I didn’t get a response until the next morning and it was the kids are gonna take me to dinner maybe that Sat. night (if he felt up to it) so “maybe” we could get together that Sunday. I sent a message back saying not to worry about it. Enjoy the weekend and relax and take care of himself. He called me Sunday night around 7 but I was unavailable.
He has sent a couple of text messages to me, etc. then this past Monday night said he would call and “catch up”. I didn’t hear anything and he sent a text the next day saying he was out of town (which he does travel quite a bit) and it was late, he was going to bed. I got a call last night around 11 asking to see me this Thursday (he is going out of town with his family on vacation for 10 days) and he would like to see me before he goes.
My question is should I see him knowing where it will end of up “fooling around” even though we have great chemistry and I enjoy his company. How can I tell if he is just interested in one thing. He was calling, texting a ton before our first date and after that until he got sick. I am leaning towards cancelling Thursday because if it is going nowhere, I don’t want it to continue or do I see if things are different after this third date. I am usually pretty calm about these things but I like this guy. I am also very skeptical that it will go any further. Thank you for your help and hopefully answer since time is running out to make a decision.
Our Advice to You
Stop Fooling Around
By “fooling around” on the first date (and the second date), you are in grave danger of turning yourself into a booty call!
There is nothing wrong with feeling an intense connection with someone and going with it, but you sound like you really like this guy. And now you notice that he’s just not that communicative now that he’s been fooling around with you EVERY TIME he’s met you.
All is not lost. It does sound like he’s trying, but sickness and family is crowding his schedule. First of all, read this article on how not to become a booty call and then get to work on becoming completely irresistible to this guy.
Things are not bad, you just have to take control back and regain some of your mystery…