A Confused Heart
by Mell
(Malaysia)
We have been together for one year and 3 months. During this relationship, we always fight with each other. The fight is usually because of his friends (all of which are girls).
He always asked me to give him his personal time with his girl friends. For example: staying overnight in a trip with them in a same room. Fetching one of his girl friend’s family from the airport and go dinner at night.
When I ranted and show how jealous I was, he was sad and told me he no longer felt the same for me anymore. He said being together doesn’t feel right anymore. He told me to do some self-reflection and try not to be so possessive in my next relationship.
I try to trust… I try but every action he did made me think otherwise. Is it really my fault this breakup happened? Or this is not the time for us to be together? A day after our breakup, he ask if we will revisit this relationship again in the future.
I have a confused heart.
Our Dating Advice to You
A sticky situation
On one hand, it’s important to love and trust until that trust is broken, but he’s doing a lot of things that should make you suspicious.
Guys with lots of friends that are girls can go in one of two ways: Either he’s a seducer and a cheater or he really understands women. The first kind will ruin your life and always keep you feeling sick and nervous. The second kind are AWESOME boyfriends.
There is a reason that he has so many girls in his life. I think you know, deep down, which kind of a guy he was.
Do you really think he was capable of cheating on you? If yes, then is was right for you to act defensive. If you strip away all of your feelings and simply look at him objectively and see that he wasn’t cheating on you… Then you do have a problem with jealousy.
Jealousy is the worst thing to let seep into your relationship. Once those thoughts take hold, it’s only a matter of time til a sad breakup.